Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 248 Days and 77180 Haiku later...

Look deep into me.
See the sum of all evil.
Through all space and time.
Haiku # 73643, November 15, 2021 9:25 pm ET
by Sterrrrrnn!!! of Calling Hanover Fist.
Here's an idea.
Leather coats with coffee smell.
Pre-aromaed coats.
Haiku # 73642, November 15, 2021 4:19 pm ET
by Inventing words. Yes. And?
Just imagine this:
These coins look about the same.
One and five piso.

I mean, what the EFF!
Complete lack of common sense.
Someone needs slapping.
Haiku # 73641, November 15, 2021 4:16 pm ET
by And for once, it's not me! of Well, I do need slapping, but not for that.
What will happen now?
Extradited for war crimes,
human trafficking,

heroin dealing,
child porno ring, and three
parking citations.

And not to mention
what I did to those monkeys.
... But they enjoyed it.

In all fairness.
Haiku # 73640, November 15, 2021 3:54 pm ET
by I would expect nothing less from the likes of you.
I miss iamback.
Do you think he passed away?
He hated Star Wars.

Those gay wedding rants.
Star Wars themed gay marriages.
Which is redundant.
Haiku # 73639, November 15, 2021 3:44 pm ET
by Darth Whorendous the Stupendously Fabulous of Like a funeral glitter bomb.
Can we just agree
to hate everyone the same?
(But Eskimos more.)
Haiku # 73637, November 15, 2021 3:40 pm ET
by Is that okay?
well here we are and
i came back, i dont know, just
lets see what happens
Haiku # 73636, November 15, 2021 1:53 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
alas poor yorik
immortalized for his death
an object lesson
Haiku # 73635, November 15, 2021 1:42 pm ET
by scotch of the lesson being that life is short and pointless
do we hate darth now?
we used to just hate moxie
i was gone awhile
Haiku # 73634, November 15, 2021 1:38 pm ET
by scotch of meet the new troll, same as the old troll
There once was a man.
Here I sit, broken hearted.
Alas, poor Yorik.
Haiku # 73633, November 15, 2021 12:56 pm ET
by Poor Yorik had a stupid name. of He should hate his parents.
well i like to go
to work and do work stuff when
I'm at go
Haiku # 73632, November 15, 2021 12:46 pm ET
by vhs of we...are smart Pakled.
I wish I knew you
You're the cure for depression
I had to notice
Haiku # 73631, November 15, 2021 12:04 pm ET
by My pronouns are Starkitten of just being real
"The fridge sits empty
Because I am too lazy
To buy some groceries"

And *POOF* there's Door Dash.
This is all Janis' fault.
This whole "pandemic".

Laziness, greed, and gluttony created Amazon, FarceBook, and TikCok. And those created the "pandemic" to increase revenue. (It first appeared in China, don't forget). And now we just order our pot and pizza and groceries and... everything online and stay home wanking to crappy porn and it's only going to get worse. You'll see.

And it's all that first haiku by Janis that started it all. It's your fault Janis! You're friends of Bezos, I bet!

Haiku # 73630, November 15, 2021 11:26 am ET
by Conspiring Constipation Constellation
dr seuss...seuss and de
sist, not sure what a seuss im
pression would be like

like a bike
a trike?

on strike?

tv once called Spike.

dams being called dikes.
Haiku # 73629, November 15, 2021 11:20 am ET
by vhs
We'll soon bow down to
The Cannibal Overlords!
Worse than aliens!
Haiku # 73628, November 15, 2021 11:08 am ET
by Alferd Packer of Shpadoinkle!
The culling will start.
Only the fat ones may breed.
They are so juicy!
Haiku # 73627, November 15, 2021 11:06 am ET
by Artificial selection.
Will we be cattle?
"They" will harvest our fat selves.
Drugged, we will not know.
Haiku # 73626, November 15, 2021 11:04 am ET
by moooooooo
The future I see.
Plugged in, we never leave home.
Just like The Matrix.
Haiku # 73625, November 15, 2021 11:01 am ET
by But voluntary. of Amazon and Facebook.
Amazon order.
You ever try Vulveeta?
Fake vagina cheese.
Haiku # 73624, November 15, 2021 10:55 am ET
by You can order anything these days! of We need a new crypto called "ShitCoin".
The fox pox pine box???
That bothered you??? I'm sorry.
I was just goofing.

Bet you wear cute socks.
Haiku # 73623, November 15, 2021 10:51 am ET
by Darth Whorendous
I am not fighting.
I notice Noticer knows
my identity.

"I will kill you if you tell."
meaning he/she/it know me personally.
The "dead rabbit" line gave it away.
Along with a million other not so subtle hints.
We will see, we will see.
Haiku # 73622, November 15, 2021 10:46 am ET
by Darth Whorendous of No long plucking figs, and thank God for that!
Darth, you need a hug
Stop fighting with the poets
I made you decaf
Haiku # 73621, November 15, 2021 10:16 am ET
by One of the other poets
i think some seek a
great savior only to find
in this world it's fake
Haiku # 73620, November 15, 2021 10:08 am ET
by vhs
i would like to see
more people on this site post
different haiku
Haiku # 73619, November 15, 2021 10:04 am ET
by vhs
i know I've just got
to walk out that door and get
the fresh air of the

pines and fall and call
it a real walk and not a space
for cyber highways
Haiku # 73618, November 15, 2021 10:00 am ET
by vhs
I'm glad you're still here
I almost ended up in a
box, worked out, still

going strong, heart health just
might save lives after all, weird
how we all turn out...
Haiku # 73617, November 15, 2021 9:59 am ET
by vhs
This site had a troll
From '03-'17
I will outlast you
Haiku # 73616, November 15, 2021 9:55 am ET
by Janis of That must be a record!
usually when it's
about me dying i might
take it personal.
Haiku # 73615, November 15, 2021 9:44 am ET
by vhs
dude, it's stuff like that
that made me leave here and stop
posting haiku here.
Haiku # 73614, November 15, 2021 9:43 am ET
by vhs
Mox stocks rocks fox pox.
It put him in a pine box.
Bagels, cream cheese, lox.
Haiku # 73613, November 15, 2021 9:29 am ET
by I am not Sam. I will eat green eggs and ham. of It's Ma'am! (I notice you assume to much.)
well this is a drat
a bother, shows how old we
are facebook a dream
Haiku # 73612, November 15, 2021 8:47 am ET
by vhs of im usually mox too
300 hits to this site each day.
297 are bots.
1 is Janis trying to delete the bot spam.
The others are the only 2 poets posting here under multiple names pretending to be different people.
Haiku # 73611, November 15, 2021 7:15 am ET
by Good job!
If the Axis won,
I bet there'd be no balot
in the Philippines.
Haiku # 73610, November 15, 2021 7:08 am ET
by Even the Nippers aren't that nasty.
Thunderbird, Night Train,
Mad Dog Twenty-Twenty.
Brand name, not vintage.

Vintage ghetto wine.
Now THAT is fucking funny.
Pairs with Velveeta.
Haiku # 73609, November 15, 2021 6:57 am ET
by I Noticed your yellow lips. of OH! That's from crack. Okay.
If the Axis won,
these Russian boner pill ads
could well be poo porn.
Haiku # 73608, November 15, 2021 6:52 am ET
by Things could always be worse.
Beaujolais red wine.
Two-thousand-fifteen is good.
Pairs well with hookers.

And sharp cheddar.
Haiku # 73607, November 15, 2021 6:48 am ET
by Right!
They make the disgusting porn
US frat boy watch.
Haiku # 73605, November 15, 2021 6:42 am ET
by $upply & demand.
Okay, let's talk wine.
That's way more appropriate.
What's your favorite?
Haiku # 73604, November 15, 2021 6:39 am ET
by What's a famous Jewish wine? of "I want to go to Hawaii!"... Oh, I thought you said whine.
I cannot fathom
enjoying being pooed on.
Explain Noticer.
Haiku # 73603, November 15, 2021 6:36 am ET
by What's that do for you?
The sewers are fun.
Did you notice me in the
toilet hole waiting.
Haiku # 73602, November 15, 2021 6:33 am ET
by Oh, wait, no... that's Germany. Maybe Japan. of Why are the WWII axis powers such epic perverts?
He brewed a bad brew
of Hebrew Manischewitz.
Man, it was the shits.
Haiku # 73601, November 15, 2021 6:29 am ET
by vhs... NOT of ;-)
A knock at the door
A single knock followed by
sixteen rapid knocks
Haiku # 73600, November 15, 2021 2:42 am ET
by Salesman of Haiku
Haiku supply chain
The source of all bad haiku
Philippines sewers
Haiku # 73599, November 15, 2021 1:48 am ET
by Eel of Sargasso (source of good haiku)
Just write what you know
Poems about cutting cheese
and blaming the dog
Haiku # 73598, November 15, 2021 1:32 am ET
by Hound of Limburger
I had idea
For epic haiku poem...
But it was garbage.
Haiku # 73597, November 15, 2021 12:04 am ET
by Flash in the Pan
Moxie is a brew.
But is he a hebrew brew?
Or a mere beverage?
Haiku # 73596, November 14, 2021 11:42 pm ET
by Israel of God
Kill the red heifer.
The levitical priesthood.
The law of Moses.
Haiku # 73595, November 14, 2021 11:36 pm ET
by Sodom and Egypt of Revelation
Oy veh.. Yom Kippur.
Gefilte fish and matzoh.
Wait for third temple.
Haiku # 73594, November 14, 2021 11:31 pm ET
by The Rebbe of Mendel Schneerson
Ah yeah Darth this Darth
That. ...keep firing assholes, a
Drewish princess? Oi.
Haiku # 73593, November 14, 2021 11:06 pm ET
by Vhs
Darth is a drag queen
Hiding out in Phillipeen.
To hell with his soul.
Haiku # 73592, November 14, 2021 10:47 pm ET
by Unconditional Love of Jeeeebus
< 50 Less Recent Haiku 50 More Recent Haiku >