Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 20 Days and 77399 Haiku later...

We are just cattle.
In one hole, out the other.
Consume, rinse, repeat.
Haiku # 73924, November 26, 2021 8:55 am ET
by Grumpy Old Figpucker
Will the Turdmaster
then ask to add corn to your
Door Dash shopping cart?
Haiku # 73923, November 26, 2021 8:50 am ET
by Next it will chew the food for you.
all right all right i
knew you were into leather
but this is too much
Haiku # 73922, November 26, 2021 7:45 am ET
by vhs of king james would ratio you
i think i will just
cum on the Bible and quit
reading books on line
Haiku # 73921, November 26, 2021 6:40 am ET
by me so funny of me tell joke #1
my new invention
Turdmaster Talking Toilet
"I see you ate corn!"
Haiku # 73920, November 26, 2021 4:37 am ET
by Bathrooms of the Future
You people need help.
Can't you just tell some fart jokes?
Here, pull my finger.
Haiku # 73919, November 26, 2021 4:15 am ET
by Darth Whorendous
i think im just going
to read the Bible and quit
coming on line
Haiku # 73918, November 25, 2021 11:04 pm ET
by vhs
Just one more please, mom:
With, um, more cranberry sauce,
and some more haiku.
Haiku # 73917, November 25, 2021 10:52 pm ET
by Get Stuffed Chief Massasoit of Massachusetts
I eat rotten verse.
Got problem with that, old man?
Fucking commies. Damn...
Haiku # 73916, November 25, 2021 10:45 pm ET
by Generalisimo Franthisco Franco of St. Theresa's Arm
That was not turkey.
That was your mother, served hot.
I stuffed her real good.
Haiku # 73915, November 25, 2021 10:41 pm ET
by Pasha Mehmet Gobblioglu of Old Istanbul, New Jersey
I cant stop. Oh God...
I can't stop writing pure gold.
It hurts to be me.
Haiku # 73914, November 25, 2021 10:32 pm ET
by This Pathetic World Will Soon Recognize My Brilliance in spite of My Exalted Humility
The cold turkey cure:
You try to kick it. You try...
then you make sandwich.
Haiku # 73913, November 25, 2021 10:28 pm ET
by On Whole Wheat Toast with lots of Mayo of Ouagadouggou, Upper Volta
Oh, you can't relate?
Oh, you do not eat turkey?
Get with the program!
Haiku # 73912, November 25, 2021 10:25 pm ET
by We Are Esspik Eenglis Here Senyor of Oaxaca, Rhode Island
Just do more shopping!
Go buy lots more stuff online.
Spend and heal the world!
Haiku # 73911, November 25, 2021 10:22 pm ET
by World Peace Through Frenzy of Shopping in a Stupor
Black Friday: rayciss.
It should be called "White Friday"
to halt injustice.
Haiku # 73910, November 25, 2021 10:18 pm ET
by So Shut Up and Buy on 26th of November for Racial Reconciliation
China may attack
While we sleeping off turkey.
Wake up! Go shopping!
Haiku # 73909, November 25, 2021 10:14 pm ET
by Xi Pinjing of C.C.P.
Butt potter in my gravy...
And then I eat pie-kin pump.
Medicinal WHAT?
Haiku # 73908, November 25, 2021 10:08 pm ET
by Pump up the Jam of Rasberry
South Park? Oh forsooth.
Sir, must you be so vulgar?
Haiku is high art.
Haiku # 73907, November 25, 2021 10:05 pm ET
by Lofty Heights of Fart Jokes
Okay, let me guess.
Pot butter in your gravy.
And your pumpkin pie.
Haiku # 73906, November 25, 2021 10:01 pm ET
by Medicinal, right? of I didn't inhale.
My muse talk turkey.
Then she serve me apple pie.
My muse get me high.
Haiku # 73905, November 25, 2021 9:59 pm ET
by Incorrect Third-person Cojugations of My Whoop-ass Muse
The new South Park rocked.
And you won't guess what happened!
That kid Kenny died.
Haiku # 73904, November 25, 2021 9:59 pm ET
by You should watch it.
Thanksgiving's OK...
But bad haiku is the BOMB.
It blew up my muse.
Haiku # 73903, November 25, 2021 9:56 pm ET
by She Was Inflatable, thus sort of Relatable
What up VHS
I am in Moxieland now...
The way life should be.
Haiku # 73902, November 25, 2021 9:53 pm ET
by Ayuh Wicked Good of Finestkind
Darth ate balot egg
Stuffed with live turkey and drugs.
Tryptophan deluxe.
Haiku # 73901, November 25, 2021 9:51 pm ET
by Plimoth Pharmacy of 1620
Happy thanksgiving
To elect haiku remnant.
"I am the turkey".
Haiku # 73900, November 25, 2021 9:48 pm ET
by Dig My Wattles of Shimmy Shimmy Shake and make a sandwich next day
Call me Robot Frost
Stopping to crap in your forest
My horse think's you're queer
Haiku # 73899, November 25, 2021 9:19 pm ET
by Deepdank Woods of Rural Porn Star
It's snowing cocaine
Look how productive I am.
Poetry Robot
Haiku # 73898, November 25, 2021 9:15 pm ET
by Clunk of Junk

who gets the gizzard?
settle this once and for all
who gets the wishbone?
Haiku # 73897, November 25, 2021 9:12 pm ET
by Cassowary not of Casseroles
China will kill us.
China will kill the planet
for communism.
Haiku # 73896, November 25, 2021 7:23 pm ET
by More greedy than capitalists.
cup of coffee 7
pm, snow already? well
here we go again...
Haiku # 73895, November 25, 2021 6:45 pm ET
by vhs of and so it goes.
Devil Artemis
turned Perfect Cell into an
antihero with Kermit

yes, that frog.
Haiku # 73894, November 25, 2021 6:16 pm ET
by vhs
the old man in the
corner of the website did
the best poem here.
Haiku # 73893, November 25, 2021 6:04 pm ET
by vhs
we go off into
a tomb eventually
eat the scroll and speak.
Haiku # 73892, November 25, 2021 5:58 pm ET
by vhs
we eat off china
made in china with other
things made in china.
Haiku # 73891, November 25, 2021 5:53 pm ET
by vhs
China won’t kill us.
They need us for their demand.
Don’t worry too much.
Haiku # 73890, November 25, 2021 5:43 pm ET
by Random Indian of Random US City
Gas prices aren't high.
The population is high.
China will kill us.
Haiku # 73889, November 25, 2021 5:25 pm ET
by https://nypost.com/2021/10/18/war-movie-about-defeat-of-us-army-tops-chinas-box-office/ of So pure and wholesome.
Turkey is awesome.
I can eat it all day long.
Nap and eat some more.
Haiku # 73888, November 25, 2021 5:20 pm ET
by Thankfully fully full.
ah, welcome back my
lovely bad poets, we have
a place again now

thanks Janis...seriously
Haiku # 73887, November 25, 2021 4:58 pm ET
by vhs of thanksgiving haiku, i know canada...october...
Turkeys are stupid!
Look up in the rain and drown.
And those gay feathers.
Haiku # 73886, November 25, 2021 4:32 pm ET
by Roast turkey for Thanksgiving.
Figgy Figsgiving
Fork over the puckered figs
Please, more gutter pigs
Haiku # 73884, November 25, 2021 2:18 pm ET
by Figteenth of Figuary
This is a test of
the haiku posting system.
This is just a test.
Haiku # 73883, November 25, 2021 2:05 pm ET
by Adam
It's way past time, friend.
Hang them with their intestines.
Start with Zuckerberg.

Then China's Pooh Bear,
Biden, Obama, and Trump.
All commies and Cher.
Haiku # 73882, November 24, 2021 3:45 am ET
by Starkitten for Empress! of That would impress.
It is almost time
To rise and judge our leaders
For all their warcrimes.
Haiku # 73881, November 24, 2021 1:40 am ET
by Smiley Dance of Don't Worry Be Happy
All non-haiku verse:
You shall regret your actions.
Admit to your crimes.
Haiku # 73879, November 23, 2021 9:31 pm ET
by People's Court of Syllabic Restoration
Everything has to stand for something and mean something. Abbreviated apocryphal acronyms acrobatically arbitrate arbitrary asinine augmented alphabetization.
FAITA
Fuck Acronyms In the Ass.
Haiku # 73876, November 23, 2021 6:42 pm ET
by It's all bullshit. Every bit of it. It's all meaningless.
FIVE stand for Gospels.
SEVEN stands for Pleiades.
FIVE stands for flavors.
Haiku # 73874, November 23, 2021 1:15 pm ET
by Divine Alchemy of Lower Mathematics in SpEd
Old Japanese man:
You need botox injection,
Yes, you. In corner.
Haiku # 73873, November 23, 2021 1:12 pm ET
by Honorable Elder of Shinto Temple of Botox
The Dancing Grannies:
All five of them was rayciss.
I'm Allah's vengeance.
Haiku # 73872, November 23, 2021 1:10 pm ET
by Darrell tha Rap Artist of Not Getting 15 Year-olds Preggers fo awhile
The House of Gucci
Go ga-ga for some hoochee...
Lady G? Who she?
Haiku # 73871, November 23, 2021 12:58 pm ET
by Most Perceptive Cine-art Review of Our Time
Hey Mister Chester:
Your mommy's a molester;
Hope they arrest her.
Haiku # 73870, November 23, 2021 12:50 pm ET
by Mask-wearing Juju Witchdoctor of Gambia, Dancing to Village Drums
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