Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
26 Years, 316 Days and 76709 Haiku later...

The SpaceX Raptor
Rocket engines burn methane.
Great minds stink alike.
Haiku # 74072, December 1, 2021 7:20 am ET
by I wish my last name was Musk. of I'd be extra stinky. Deodorant is like soooo last year.
It'll happen fast.
You'll get caught with your pants down.
Like that Pompeii dude
Haiku # 74071, December 1, 2021 1:59 am ET
by echo of lavatory
Uh oh, we're all doomed.
It was inevitable.
I just hope it's fast.
Haiku # 74070, December 1, 2021 12:35 am ET
by You'll see.
That wasn't Jesus.
Christ doesn't have a Great Dane
It was Shaggy Doo
Haiku # 74069, November 30, 2021 10:59 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
Jesus spoke to me.
He said I should forgive you.
Then He changed His mind.
Haiku # 74068, November 30, 2021 6:06 pm ET
by He sees all!
Are you horrible?
If not, would you like to be?
If so, then prove it.
Haiku # 74067, November 30, 2021 3:51 pm ET
by Pics or it didn't happen.
For high blood pressure
beat up some homeless people
and take their money.

Do it six p.m.
They'll have lots of cash by then.
And you can get drunk.
Haiku # 74066, November 30, 2021 1:25 pm ET
by Follow me on twiiter for health advice and extra income opportunities.
Darth's secretary
I could fill this position
and a few others
Haiku # 74065, November 30, 2021 12:47 pm ET
by Flexibility of double jointed (polydactyl)
fractalized anus
got the old blood pressure game
keeping me eyes on.
Haiku # 74064, November 30, 2021 12:21 pm ET
by vhs
Have you watched Elmo?
I mean REALLY watched Elmo?
He's a dirty prick!
Haiku # 74063, November 30, 2021 11:26 am ET
by Noticer of Muppets
Uninvited guest.
Latte art competition.
Porno caffeine swirls.
Haiku # 74062, November 30, 2021 11:03 am ET
by First prize!
Brownian motion
dictates the zeros of the
Riemann conjecture.

Sat nude on scanner.
Digitized my hairy ass.
Fractalized anus.

Colors cycling.
Ate some LSD and watched.
Brownian motion.
Haiku # 74061, November 30, 2021 9:38 am ET
by Star Kitten understands.
I am going to poop.
When I'm done I'll wipe and flush.
Then tell my parents.
Haiku # 74059, November 30, 2021 7:32 am ET
by Big Boy
Kim Kardashian
had sex with Joe Biden's son
and now she's pregnant.
Haiku # 74058, November 30, 2021 7:28 am ET
by Walter Crankite
Bad haiku is Truth.
The rest is lies and fake news.
Stay well- informed here.
Haiku # 74055, November 29, 2021 8:34 pm ET
by Walter Cronkite of B&W TV with 6 channels
World New Through Haiku.
Better than the crap on Fox.
And CNN too.
Haiku # 74054, November 29, 2021 7:35 pm ET
by But we need more info on the Kardashians and who they are sleeping with. of The important stuff.
Ghislaine's trial begins.
Submarine lady's defense:
"I own the high seas"
Haiku # 74053, November 29, 2021 7:15 pm ET
by Lock The Mossad Agent Up !
PornHub variant.
Your leaky videos leaked.
But no one will watch.
Haiku # 74052, November 29, 2021 2:07 pm ET
by Ewwww!
Omigod Variant:
makes girls text emoticons
Haiku # 74051, November 29, 2021 11:28 am ET
by Epsilon of Upsilon
Leftover variant,
Spread by transgender turkeys.
Be VERY scared, NOW.
Haiku # 74050, November 29, 2021 10:59 am ET
by Endless Variations of Variants (brought to you by PFIZER)
Time to get out there
and spread my insanity
to the real world now.
Haiku # 74046, November 29, 2021 7:15 am ET
by Air borne mad cow. of The bovitrooper variant! Oh no!
"Omicron"?! Really?!?!
It's a fucking Transformer.
Or a transgender.
Haiku # 74045, November 29, 2021 7:11 am ET
by What happend to epsilon through xi? of Why did we just jump through the Greek alphabet? Can't even go in order. How stupid are we now?
It all depends on
how long you will keep in the
freezer, delicious.
Haiku # 74044, November 29, 2021 6:50 am ET
by Hannibal Lecter
I want someone to
See me and see someone worth
Keeping forever.
Haiku # 74042, November 29, 2021 6:25 am ET
by Cat of Sun
How bout the gizzards?
Did you have pumpkin pie, Darth?
Darthvember darthteenth
Haiku # 74036, November 29, 2021 12:29 am ET
by Rezkitten of Rez
Can we just agree
that turkey and dressing rule?
What do you all say?
Haiku # 74033, November 28, 2021 10:56 pm ET
by Darth Pilgrim
They will not prevail.
God did not intend for us
to live online. Nope...
Haiku # 74031, November 28, 2021 9:33 pm ET
by There Will Be An Event of Biblical Significance
this is such a weird
interconnected group of
internet people

like, this is so niche
and we always disagree
on like everything
Haiku # 74030, November 28, 2021 9:10 pm ET
by cursedmints of love you guys?
I wish I could fly
but they painted me up here
I'd shit on your heads!
Haiku # 74029, November 28, 2021 8:30 pm ET
by Spokesgull of Seagulls Against Poetry
I found a bottle
It contained an ancient message...
Hey, go fuck yourself...
Haiku # 74028, November 28, 2021 8:12 pm ET
by Ebb of Tide
Yeah, Zuckerberg and
Bezos are worst of the worst.
We should live online?!
Haiku # 74027, November 28, 2021 8:01 pm ET
by This future is really looking awful. of By the way, watch the new South Park.
I like when you preach
against the technocracy
whoever you are.
Haiku # 74024, November 28, 2021 6:28 pm ET
by I'm With You 100% On This One of Bezos Zuckerberg's Mommy
Squirrels beat rats. Yep.
Nothing like dead sewer rats
flattened in the street.
Haiku # 74023, November 28, 2021 5:58 pm ET
by Manila
Well, I guess for once
it's good that we did not have...
umm... Scotch on the rocks.
Haiku # 74022, November 28, 2021 5:53 pm ET
by Rum is better anyway.
All these tech giants
thrive off disconnectedness
and fear of the world.

Giants like Gates, Jobs,
Musk, Zuckerberg, Bezos, and
the evil Janis.
Haiku # 74021, November 28, 2021 5:37 pm ET
by Ahem.
did not have right gear
needed longer static ropes
but my anchor held
Haiku # 74017, November 28, 2021 1:59 pm ET
by scotch of not dead yet
yeah! love that album
undeservedly obscure
gets zero airplay
Haiku # 74016, November 28, 2021 1:55 pm ET
by scotch
yeah! love that album
undeservedly obscure
gets zero airplay
Haiku # 74015, November 28, 2021 1:54 pm ET
by scotch
Listen: Bridge of Sighs
will reveal knowledge to you.
Please listen to it.
Haiku # 74014, November 28, 2021 1:26 pm ET
by Thank You, Sincerely: R. Trower
I am so fucked-up
that I need to interact
with lost souls right here.
Haiku # 74013, November 28, 2021 1:24 pm ET
by Modern Life Has Failed Me
I love nobody,
except those who post haiku
here at the crossroads...
Haiku # 74012, November 28, 2021 1:10 pm ET
by Fell Down on my Knees at the Juncture of the Crossroads
so when i lose my
temper, lost my glasses when
do i find myself?
Haiku # 74007, November 28, 2021 11:01 am ET
by vhs
Bad troll! Bad! No no!
No internet porn today!
Now say you're sorry!
Haiku # 74006, November 28, 2021 10:42 am ET
by I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. So terribly sorry.
Should I f*** squirrels?
Animal experts say no.
I do anyway.
Haiku # 74005, November 28, 2021 10:38 am ET
by Squirrel Whisperer of I whisper in their ears fun things to do with nuts.
Left over stuffing.
Turkey broth with fat skimmed off.
My God, it's heaven!
Haiku # 74004, November 28, 2021 10:33 am ET
by Don't forget the giblets!
Should I feed squirrels?
Animal experts say no.
I do anyway.
Haiku # 74003, November 28, 2021 10:30 am ET
by Squirrel Boss
What's on "smart TV"?
Grey's Anatomy drama.
Bizarre use of "smart".
Haiku # 74002, November 28, 2021 10:19 am ET
by Alexa, add organic koala bear tampons to my shopping list.
Keurig coffee cunts.
Modern abominations.
Horrible flavor.
Haiku # 74001, November 28, 2021 10:14 am ET
by This is the future??? of Send me back to 1990 please.
In my next life I'll
dumpster dive all of my food
and live underground.
Haiku # 74000, November 28, 2021 10:08 am ET
by "Zero footprint." of I admire those eccentric old fuckers.
My biggest pet peeve.
Americans wasting food.
Kick them in the balls.
Haiku # 73999, November 28, 2021 10:05 am ET
by Right square in the noots!
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