Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 215 Days and 77130 Haiku later...

Time to get out there
and spread my insanity
to the real world now.
Haiku # 74046, November 29, 2021 7:15 am ET
by Air borne mad cow. of The bovitrooper variant! Oh no!
"Omicron"?! Really?!?!
It's a fucking Transformer.
Or a transgender.
Haiku # 74045, November 29, 2021 7:11 am ET
by What happend to epsilon through xi? of Why did we just jump through the Greek alphabet? Can't even go in order. How stupid are we now?
It all depends on
how long you will keep in the
freezer, delicious.
Haiku # 74044, November 29, 2021 6:50 am ET
by Hannibal Lecter
I want someone to
See me and see someone worth
Keeping forever.
Haiku # 74042, November 29, 2021 6:25 am ET
by Cat of Sun
How bout the gizzards?
Did you have pumpkin pie, Darth?
Darthvember darthteenth
Haiku # 74036, November 29, 2021 12:29 am ET
by Rezkitten of Rez
Can we just agree
that turkey and dressing rule?
What do you all say?
Haiku # 74033, November 28, 2021 10:56 pm ET
by Darth Pilgrim
They will not prevail.
God did not intend for us
to live online. Nope...
Haiku # 74031, November 28, 2021 9:33 pm ET
by There Will Be An Event of Biblical Significance
this is such a weird
interconnected group of
internet people

like, this is so niche
and we always disagree
on like everything
Haiku # 74030, November 28, 2021 9:10 pm ET
by cursedmints of love you guys?
I wish I could fly
but they painted me up here
I'd shit on your heads!
Haiku # 74029, November 28, 2021 8:30 pm ET
by Spokesgull of Seagulls Against Poetry
I found a bottle
It contained an ancient message...
Hey, go fuck yourself...
Haiku # 74028, November 28, 2021 8:12 pm ET
by Ebb of Tide
Yeah, Zuckerberg and
Bezos are worst of the worst.
We should live online?!
Haiku # 74027, November 28, 2021 8:01 pm ET
by This future is really looking awful. of By the way, watch the new South Park.
I like when you preach
against the technocracy
whoever you are.
Haiku # 74024, November 28, 2021 6:28 pm ET
by I'm With You 100% On This One of Bezos Zuckerberg's Mommy
Squirrels beat rats. Yep.
Nothing like dead sewer rats
flattened in the street.
Haiku # 74023, November 28, 2021 5:58 pm ET
by Manila
Well, I guess for once
it's good that we did not have...
umm... Scotch on the rocks.
Haiku # 74022, November 28, 2021 5:53 pm ET
by Rum is better anyway.
All these tech giants
thrive off disconnectedness
and fear of the world.

Giants like Gates, Jobs,
Musk, Zuckerberg, Bezos, and
the evil Janis.
Haiku # 74021, November 28, 2021 5:37 pm ET
by Ahem.
did not have right gear
needed longer static ropes
but my anchor held
Haiku # 74017, November 28, 2021 1:59 pm ET
by scotch of not dead yet
yeah! love that album
undeservedly obscure
gets zero airplay
Haiku # 74016, November 28, 2021 1:55 pm ET
by scotch
yeah! love that album
undeservedly obscure
gets zero airplay
Haiku # 74015, November 28, 2021 1:54 pm ET
by scotch
Listen: Bridge of Sighs
will reveal knowledge to you.
Please listen to it.
Haiku # 74014, November 28, 2021 1:26 pm ET
by Thank You, Sincerely: R. Trower
I am so fucked-up
that I need to interact
with lost souls right here.
Haiku # 74013, November 28, 2021 1:24 pm ET
by Modern Life Has Failed Me
I love nobody,
except those who post haiku
here at the crossroads...
Haiku # 74012, November 28, 2021 1:10 pm ET
by Fell Down on my Knees at the Juncture of the Crossroads
so when i lose my
temper, lost my glasses when
do i find myself?
Haiku # 74007, November 28, 2021 11:01 am ET
by vhs
Bad troll! Bad! No no!
No internet porn today!
Now say you're sorry!
Haiku # 74006, November 28, 2021 10:42 am ET
by I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. So terribly sorry.
Should I f*** squirrels?
Animal experts say no.
I do anyway.
Haiku # 74005, November 28, 2021 10:38 am ET
by Squirrel Whisperer of I whisper in their ears fun things to do with nuts.
Left over stuffing.
Turkey broth with fat skimmed off.
My God, it's heaven!
Haiku # 74004, November 28, 2021 10:33 am ET
by Don't forget the giblets!
Should I feed squirrels?
Animal experts say no.
I do anyway.
Haiku # 74003, November 28, 2021 10:30 am ET
by Squirrel Boss
What's on "smart TV"?
Grey's Anatomy drama.
Bizarre use of "smart".
Haiku # 74002, November 28, 2021 10:19 am ET
by Alexa, add organic koala bear tampons to my shopping list.
Keurig coffee cunts.
Modern abominations.
Horrible flavor.
Haiku # 74001, November 28, 2021 10:14 am ET
by This is the future??? of Send me back to 1990 please.
In my next life I'll
dumpster dive all of my food
and live underground.
Haiku # 74000, November 28, 2021 10:08 am ET
by "Zero footprint." of I admire those eccentric old fuckers.
My biggest pet peeve.
Americans wasting food.
Kick them in the balls.
Haiku # 73999, November 28, 2021 10:05 am ET
by Right square in the noots!
Don't trust the reindeer.
Most of them have Nazi names.
They won't bring Jews toys.
Haiku # 73997, November 28, 2021 9:07 am ET
by Santa lives in Venezuela now.
Biscuits and gravy?
Or high fiber cereal?
I guess I should poo.
Haiku # 73996, November 28, 2021 9:03 am ET
by Killer Cereal would be a good brand name for a breakfast cereal, no?
Wanted to get high.
Went to the dispensary.
There was just a monk.

He dispensed wisdom.
But it was none I could use.
Asked for a refund.

He gave me a nun.
It was a nun I could use.
And she got me high.
Haiku # 73995, November 28, 2021 9:00 am ET
by Score!
Eat a hug dinner
and get drunk on Christmas Eve.
Puke in grandma's vase.
Haiku # 73994, November 28, 2021 8:40 am ET
by Uh oh, that was gramp's ashes.
Not Venezuela!
That's where the old Nazis live!
They're responsible!

They are doing this!
All this spam's a Nazi plot!
It's not the commies!
Haiku # 73993, November 28, 2021 7:14 am ET
by ...or something.
So... i will break protocol.

vhs... if you are having chest pains, please see a doc. And try to eat right.
Haiku # 73986, November 28, 2021 1:31 am ET
by df
Is it possible
that you could really be me
and I not know it?
Haiku # 73985, November 28, 2021 1:20 am ET
by *Checks browser history.* of Nope! Whew, dodged a bullet there.
I'll identify
as the last living sane man.
*Laughs like a madman.*
Haiku # 73984, November 28, 2021 1:07 am ET
by Queue Diary of a Madman of
Since it's wrong to laugh
at most of the world these days,
the world has gone mad.
Haiku # 73983, November 28, 2021 1:02 am ET
by Darth Whorendous
A truly mad man
Can never laugh at himself.
That's the litmus test.
Haiku # 73980, November 27, 2021 11:09 pm ET
by Laffy Taffy
Here we go and this
Is the Philip kindred
Dick world he dreamed up
Haiku # 73978, November 27, 2021 10:11 pm ET
by Mox
An awesome webpage.
Am I right, or what?
Haiku # 73976, November 27, 2021 8:26 pm ET
by You know it's true.
A fake world made by
A fake guy who is autistic
Seeming like person..
Haiku # 73972, November 27, 2021 4:55 pm ET
by Vhs
A fake world made by
A fake guy who is autistic
Seeming like person..
Haiku # 73971, November 27, 2021 4:55 pm ET
by Vhs
You seriously
think I'll murder anyone?
I just see "Meta"....

It's fucking awful.
Our future is in VR?!?!
Makes me want to puke.
Haiku # 73970, November 27, 2021 4:14 pm ET
by If this is the future, I want no part of it. of Give me a shack and garden by the ocean.
Vhs.... you're right.
I am a sociopath.
You can still like me.

Please don't stop posting.
I'll try to buffer my angst.
This world just... you know.
Haiku # 73969, November 27, 2021 4:07 pm ET
by I still think the PornHub nude poetry readings is a great idea. And, of course, a good reason to get in shape. LOL.
How fitting for this
Sharing on line shitting up
A good idea, bad
Haiku # 73968, November 27, 2021 3:45 pm ET
by Vhs
Maybe I'll die from
The chest pains I have me think
It's just pulled muscle

I take shit to heart.
Personal... I'm not
A sociopath

Like I think you are
Df... I wanted to like
You but maybe I'll

Just stop posting.
Haiku # 73966, November 27, 2021 3:39 pm ET
by Vhs
I had two guys ride
My ass in a pick up...they were
Trolling, I though they

Drove like they wanted
To hit me, now I don't see
What the game was but

You've ruined this site
For me, you I don't know what
To do with unhinged

Trolls or whatever
Even though we could argue
That's what I'm doing.
Haiku # 73965, November 27, 2021 3:36 pm ET
by Vhs
Dude, you're pissing me
Off, maybe I just need to ignore
The psychopath that

Posts here but fuck off
Fuck you, fuck your fantasies
Fuck your sociopathy

Fuck your unhinged threats
Against strangers, good friends live
There, get a life or

Get lost and fuck off
Haiku # 73964, November 27, 2021 3:33 pm ET
by You know who
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