Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
25 Years, 316 Days and 76078 Haiku later...

You seriously
think I'll murder anyone?
I just see "Meta"....

It's fucking awful.
Our future is in VR?!?!
Makes me want to puke.
Haiku # 73970, November 27, 2021 4:14 pm ET
by If this is the future, I want no part of it. of Give me a shack and garden by the ocean.
Vhs.... you're right.
I am a sociopath.
You can still like me.

Please don't stop posting.
I'll try to buffer my angst.
This world just... you know.
Haiku # 73969, November 27, 2021 4:07 pm ET
by I still think the PornHub nude poetry readings is a great idea. And, of course, a good reason to get in shape. LOL.
How fitting for this
Sharing on line shitting up
A good idea, bad
Haiku # 73968, November 27, 2021 3:45 pm ET
by Vhs
Maybe I'll die from
The chest pains I have me think
It's just pulled muscle

I take shit to heart.
Personal... I'm not
A sociopath

Like I think you are
Df... I wanted to like
You but maybe I'll

Just stop posting.
Haiku # 73966, November 27, 2021 3:39 pm ET
by Vhs
I had two guys ride
My ass in a pick up...they were
Trolling, I though they

Drove like they wanted
To hit me, now I don't see
What the game was but

You've ruined this site
For me, you I don't know what
To do with unhinged

Trolls or whatever
Even though we could argue
That's what I'm doing.
Haiku # 73965, November 27, 2021 3:36 pm ET
by Vhs
Dude, you're pissing me
Off, maybe I just need to ignore
The psychopath that

Posts here but fuck off
Fuck you, fuck your fantasies
Fuck your sociopathy

Fuck your unhinged threats
Against strangers, good friends live
There, get a life or

Get lost and fuck off
Haiku # 73964, November 27, 2021 3:33 pm ET
by You know who
I'll not stop writing
"DTZ" until he's dead.
Nuclear mishap?
Haiku # 73961, November 27, 2021 1:29 pm ET
by California's not too far from Los Alamos of DTZ!!
I feel like a slug.
Ate way too much damn turkey.
Got me all plugged up.
Haiku # 73960, November 27, 2021 1:26 pm ET
by Happy leftover day. of DTZ!
Here I sit, broken-
hearted, tried to write haiku,
but someone didn't replace the toilet paper.
Haiku # 73959, November 27, 2021 1:24 pm ET
by DTZ!
Time machine wanted.
I'll kill Zuckerberg's parents
before they conceive.

Maybe Bezos too.
They caused corona virus.
Therefore they should die.
Haiku # 73958, November 27, 2021 1:11 pm ET
by Yes!
If you send spam sites,
at least make sure its good porn.
Dolphins bang fat chick.

And I can't read it.
At least translate your damn ads.
Lazy pig commies.
Haiku # 73957, November 27, 2021 1:04 pm ET
by Right????
I can suggest you
Many website to visit
From dull Chinese bots.
Haiku # 73955, November 27, 2021 12:06 pm ET
by Sketchy Website Name of Out of Asia
You should not be here.
This website's not for children.
Leave or we'll spank you.
Haiku # 73953, November 27, 2021 11:34 am ET
by Spare the rod, spoil the brat.
Watch my nude haiku.
PornHub poetry readings.
Includes flatulence.
Haiku # 73952, November 27, 2021 11:30 am ET
by All proceeds go to murdering Mark Zuckerberg.
Dearest Santa Claus
What I would like for Christmas
Figbit haiku watch
Haiku # 73951, November 27, 2021 10:26 am ET
by goal of 10,000 syllables per day
I farted so loud
it woke the people nextdoor;
the called the police.

The police said I
can kill Zuckerberg because
nobody likes him.
Haiku # 73950, November 27, 2021 10:23 am ET
by Suffocation by methane?
Dearest Santa Claus,
What I would like for Christmas
is Zuckerberg dead.

While we are at it,
we can also bomb "Meta".
Take down their servers!

That would be the best
Christmas gift I ever got.
Doesn't matter how.

But if Zuckerberg
were eaten alive by pigs,
that would be awesome!
Haiku # 73949, November 27, 2021 7:38 am ET
by Thanks Santa! of Merry Christmas!
Jesus blah blah blah.
Everyone hates Christmas songs.
Now the next topic.

Murdering the douche.
Yes, of course, Mark Zuckerberg.
Dark web sniper gear.

It needs to be done.
Free the world of his zombies.
Virtually dead.
Haiku # 73948, November 27, 2021 7:31 am ET
by Tell me I'm wrong!
Why didn't Jesus
walk on a bunch of hot coals?
That would be something.
Haiku # 73944, November 27, 2021 1:04 am ET
by BBQ of Sandals
I'll never forget
waking up Christmas morning
and finding him there
all covered with soot
I think he pissed himself, too.
Jesus in fireplace.
Haiku # 73943, November 27, 2021 1:00 am ET
by Finder of singed sandal
It isn't murder.
Zuckerberg isn't human.
Zombie cyborg creep.
Haiku # 73941, November 26, 2021 9:04 pm ET
by Join DTZ party.
Zuckerberg should die.
Who needs your damn articles.
Poison, guns, and bombs.
Haiku # 73940, November 26, 2021 9:00 pm ET
by DTZ of Mark Zuckerberg lives at 1456 Edgewood Drive, Palo Alto, California 94301.
I can suggest to visit to you a site on which there are many articles on this question.
Haiku # 73939, November 26, 2021 5:11 pm ET
by MatthewPem of Ethiopia
Fusion energy
is not going to save us.
Neither will haiku.

Kill someone you hate.
Let your hatred free your soul.
And then go fishing.
Haiku # 73938, November 26, 2021 3:48 pm ET
by DTZ of As long as it's not virtual.
Pumpkin spice latte.
Pineapple on pizza's gay.
And then there's Facebook.

It cannot get worse.
And then *poof!* there's metaverse.
Zuckerberg's evil.
Haiku # 73937, November 26, 2021 3:33 pm ET
by DTZ
Inedible verse
in the metaverse is worse.
Rehearse in your hearse.

You know what you need?
Funeral limo handjob.
Brings you back to life.
Haiku # 73936, November 26, 2021 2:49 pm ET
by Death to Zuckerberg of DTZ
Gosh it's so BRILLIANT!
What you just wrote. Sheer brilliance...
So what's for dinner?
Haiku # 73935, November 26, 2021 1:54 pm ET
by Line of Lines of Hoboken
lisa! you are tearing
me apart! i did not hit
her...its bullshit,no...

i....did...NAWT, oh hi
mark, how is your sex life...um
where is the guy from?
Haiku # 73934, November 26, 2021 1:52 pm ET
by vhs of checking The Room
Inedible verse
dogs sniff and leave uneaten
They call it haiku

Indelible ink
shoots from an octopus dink
Ocean autograph
Haiku # 73933, November 26, 2021 1:22 pm ET
by Ink of Dink
Thanksgiving thunder!

Giblet fire from down under!

(Toilet gobbling sounds)
Haiku # 73932, November 26, 2021 12:46 pm ET
by LaTrina Fuller of Flushing, NY
Artemis was weird
Hated violence but she was
Fine with killing kids
Haiku # 73931, November 26, 2021 11:42 am ET
by cursedmints
cars 2 is the best
mater kills bad car nazis
finn is really hot
Haiku # 73930, November 26, 2021 11:36 am ET
by cursedmints
On the thirteenth day
of Christmas my true love died.
Darth wanted the corpse...
Haiku # 73929, November 26, 2021 10:35 am ET
by Not Sure For What of Said It Was "An Experiment"
In the Philippines
Christmas season lasts five months.
I haven't gone postal.

Yet.
Haiku # 73928, November 26, 2021 9:13 am ET
by Xmas stockings full of dried fish and balot.
God I hate Christmas.
The man who invented it
should be crucified.
Haiku # 73927, November 26, 2021 9:07 am ET
by Right?
Oh shit. Christmas songs.
Words cannot express how I
Soooo hate Christmas songs!
Haiku # 73926, November 26, 2021 9:06 am ET
by dw
Change "Black Friday" to
"African American
post Thanksgiving Day".
Haiku # 73925, November 26, 2021 9:03 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
We are just cattle.
In one hole, out the other.
Consume, rinse, repeat.
Haiku # 73924, November 26, 2021 8:55 am ET
by Grumpy Old Figpucker
Will the Turdmaster
then ask to add corn to your
Door Dash shopping cart?
Haiku # 73923, November 26, 2021 8:50 am ET
by Next it will chew the food for you.
all right all right i
knew you were into leather
but this is too much
Haiku # 73922, November 26, 2021 7:45 am ET
by vhs of king james would ratio you
i think i will just
cum on the Bible and quit
reading books on line
Haiku # 73921, November 26, 2021 6:40 am ET
by me so funny of me tell joke #1
my new invention
Turdmaster Talking Toilet
"I see you ate corn!"
Haiku # 73920, November 26, 2021 4:37 am ET
by Bathrooms of the Future
You people need help.
Can't you just tell some fart jokes?
Here, pull my finger.
Haiku # 73919, November 26, 2021 4:15 am ET
by Darth Whorendous
i think im just going
to read the Bible and quit
coming on line
Haiku # 73918, November 25, 2021 11:04 pm ET
by vhs
Just one more please, mom:
With, um, more cranberry sauce,
and some more haiku.
Haiku # 73917, November 25, 2021 10:52 pm ET
by Get Stuffed Chief Massasoit of Massachusetts
I eat rotten verse.
Got problem with that, old man?
Fucking commies. Damn...
Haiku # 73916, November 25, 2021 10:45 pm ET
by Generalisimo Franthisco Franco of St. Theresa's Arm
That was not turkey.
That was your mother, served hot.
I stuffed her real good.
Haiku # 73915, November 25, 2021 10:41 pm ET
by Pasha Mehmet Gobblioglu of Old Istanbul, New Jersey
I cant stop. Oh God...
I can't stop writing pure gold.
It hurts to be me.
Haiku # 73914, November 25, 2021 10:32 pm ET
by This Pathetic World Will Soon Recognize My Brilliance in spite of My Exalted Humility
The cold turkey cure:
You try to kick it. You try...
then you make sandwich.
Haiku # 73913, November 25, 2021 10:28 pm ET
by On Whole Wheat Toast with lots of Mayo of Ouagadouggou, Upper Volta
Oh, you can't relate?
Oh, you do not eat turkey?
Get with the program!
Haiku # 73912, November 25, 2021 10:25 pm ET
by We Are Esspik Eenglis Here Senyor of Oaxaca, Rhode Island
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