Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
25 Years, 194 Days and 75677 Haiku later...

I'll never forget
waking up Christmas morning
and finding him there
all covered with soot
I think he pissed himself, too.
Jesus in fireplace.
Haiku # 73943, November 27, 2021 1:00 am ET
by Finder of singed sandal
It isn't murder.
Zuckerberg isn't human.
Zombie cyborg creep.
Haiku # 73941, November 26, 2021 9:04 pm ET
by Join DTZ party.
Zuckerberg should die.
Who needs your damn articles.
Poison, guns, and bombs.
Haiku # 73940, November 26, 2021 9:00 pm ET
by DTZ of Mark Zuckerberg lives at 1456 Edgewood Drive, Palo Alto, California 94301.
I can suggest to visit to you a site on which there are many articles on this question.
Haiku # 73939, November 26, 2021 5:11 pm ET
by MatthewPem of Ethiopia
Fusion energy
is not going to save us.
Neither will haiku.

Kill someone you hate.
Let your hatred free your soul.
And then go fishing.
Haiku # 73938, November 26, 2021 3:48 pm ET
by DTZ of As long as it's not virtual.
Pumpkin spice latte.
Pineapple on pizza's gay.
And then there's Facebook.

It cannot get worse.
And then *poof!* there's metaverse.
Zuckerberg's evil.
Haiku # 73937, November 26, 2021 3:33 pm ET
by DTZ
Inedible verse
in the metaverse is worse.
Rehearse in your hearse.

You know what you need?
Funeral limo handjob.
Brings you back to life.
Haiku # 73936, November 26, 2021 2:49 pm ET
by Death to Zuckerberg of DTZ
Gosh it's so BRILLIANT!
What you just wrote. Sheer brilliance...
So what's for dinner?
Haiku # 73935, November 26, 2021 1:54 pm ET
by Line of Lines of Hoboken
lisa! you are tearing
me apart! i did not hit
her...its bullshit,no...

i....did...NAWT, oh hi
mark, how is your sex life...um
where is the guy from?
Haiku # 73934, November 26, 2021 1:52 pm ET
by vhs of checking The Room
Inedible verse
dogs sniff and leave uneaten
They call it haiku

Indelible ink
shoots from an octopus dink
Ocean autograph
Haiku # 73933, November 26, 2021 1:22 pm ET
by Ink of Dink
Thanksgiving thunder!

Giblet fire from down under!

(Toilet gobbling sounds)
Haiku # 73932, November 26, 2021 12:46 pm ET
by LaTrina Fuller of Flushing, NY
Artemis was weird
Hated violence but she was
Fine with killing kids
Haiku # 73931, November 26, 2021 11:42 am ET
by cursedmints
cars 2 is the best
mater kills bad car nazis
finn is really hot
Haiku # 73930, November 26, 2021 11:36 am ET
by cursedmints
On the thirteenth day
of Christmas my true love died.
Darth wanted the corpse...
Haiku # 73929, November 26, 2021 10:35 am ET
by Not Sure For What of Said It Was "An Experiment"
In the Philippines
Christmas season lasts five months.
I haven't gone postal.

Yet.
Haiku # 73928, November 26, 2021 9:13 am ET
by Xmas stockings full of dried fish and balot.
God I hate Christmas.
The man who invented it
should be crucified.
Haiku # 73927, November 26, 2021 9:07 am ET
by Right?
Oh shit. Christmas songs.
Words cannot express how I
Soooo hate Christmas songs!
Haiku # 73926, November 26, 2021 9:06 am ET
by dw
Change "Black Friday" to
"African American
post Thanksgiving Day".
Haiku # 73925, November 26, 2021 9:03 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
We are just cattle.
In one hole, out the other.
Consume, rinse, repeat.
Haiku # 73924, November 26, 2021 8:55 am ET
by Grumpy Old Figpucker
Will the Turdmaster
then ask to add corn to your
Door Dash shopping cart?
Haiku # 73923, November 26, 2021 8:50 am ET
by Next it will chew the food for you.
all right all right i
knew you were into leather
but this is too much
Haiku # 73922, November 26, 2021 7:45 am ET
by vhs of king james would ratio you
i think i will just
cum on the Bible and quit
reading books on line
Haiku # 73921, November 26, 2021 6:40 am ET
by me so funny of me tell joke #1
my new invention
Turdmaster Talking Toilet
"I see you ate corn!"
Haiku # 73920, November 26, 2021 4:37 am ET
by Bathrooms of the Future
You people need help.
Can't you just tell some fart jokes?
Here, pull my finger.
Haiku # 73919, November 26, 2021 4:15 am ET
by Darth Whorendous
i think im just going
to read the Bible and quit
coming on line
Haiku # 73918, November 25, 2021 11:04 pm ET
by vhs
Just one more please, mom:
With, um, more cranberry sauce,
and some more haiku.
Haiku # 73917, November 25, 2021 10:52 pm ET
by Get Stuffed Chief Massasoit of Massachusetts
I eat rotten verse.
Got problem with that, old man?
Fucking commies. Damn...
Haiku # 73916, November 25, 2021 10:45 pm ET
by Generalisimo Franthisco Franco of St. Theresa's Arm
That was not turkey.
That was your mother, served hot.
I stuffed her real good.
Haiku # 73915, November 25, 2021 10:41 pm ET
by Pasha Mehmet Gobblioglu of Old Istanbul, New Jersey
I cant stop. Oh God...
I can't stop writing pure gold.
It hurts to be me.
Haiku # 73914, November 25, 2021 10:32 pm ET
by This Pathetic World Will Soon Recognize My Brilliance in spite of My Exalted Humility
The cold turkey cure:
You try to kick it. You try...
then you make sandwich.
Haiku # 73913, November 25, 2021 10:28 pm ET
by On Whole Wheat Toast with lots of Mayo of Ouagadouggou, Upper Volta
Oh, you can't relate?
Oh, you do not eat turkey?
Get with the program!
Haiku # 73912, November 25, 2021 10:25 pm ET
by We Are Esspik Eenglis Here Senyor of Oaxaca, Rhode Island
Just do more shopping!
Go buy lots more stuff online.
Spend and heal the world!
Haiku # 73911, November 25, 2021 10:22 pm ET
by World Peace Through Frenzy of Shopping in a Stupor
Black Friday: rayciss.
It should be called "White Friday"
to halt injustice.
Haiku # 73910, November 25, 2021 10:18 pm ET
by So Shut Up and Buy on 26th of November for Racial Reconciliation
China may attack
While we sleeping off turkey.
Wake up! Go shopping!
Haiku # 73909, November 25, 2021 10:14 pm ET
by Xi Pinjing of C.C.P.
Butt potter in my gravy...
And then I eat pie-kin pump.
Medicinal WHAT?
Haiku # 73908, November 25, 2021 10:08 pm ET
by Pump up the Jam of Rasberry
South Park? Oh forsooth.
Sir, must you be so vulgar?
Haiku is high art.
Haiku # 73907, November 25, 2021 10:05 pm ET
by Lofty Heights of Fart Jokes
Okay, let me guess.
Pot butter in your gravy.
And your pumpkin pie.
Haiku # 73906, November 25, 2021 10:01 pm ET
by Medicinal, right? of I didn't inhale.
My muse talk turkey.
Then she serve me apple pie.
My muse get me high.
Haiku # 73905, November 25, 2021 9:59 pm ET
by Incorrect Third-person Cojugations of My Whoop-ass Muse
The new South Park rocked.
And you won't guess what happened!
That kid Kenny died.
Haiku # 73904, November 25, 2021 9:59 pm ET
by You should watch it.
Thanksgiving's OK...
But bad haiku is the BOMB.
It blew up my muse.
Haiku # 73903, November 25, 2021 9:56 pm ET
by She Was Inflatable, thus sort of Relatable
What up VHS
I am in Moxieland now...
The way life should be.
Haiku # 73902, November 25, 2021 9:53 pm ET
by Ayuh Wicked Good of Finestkind
Darth ate balot egg
Stuffed with live turkey and drugs.
Tryptophan deluxe.
Haiku # 73901, November 25, 2021 9:51 pm ET
by Plimoth Pharmacy of 1620
Happy thanksgiving
To elect haiku remnant.
"I am the turkey".
Haiku # 73900, November 25, 2021 9:48 pm ET
by Dig My Wattles of Shimmy Shimmy Shake and make a sandwich next day
Call me Robot Frost
Stopping to crap in your forest
My horse think's you're queer
Haiku # 73899, November 25, 2021 9:19 pm ET
by Deepdank Woods of Rural Porn Star
It's snowing cocaine
Look how productive I am.
Poetry Robot
Haiku # 73898, November 25, 2021 9:15 pm ET
by Clunk of Junk

who gets the gizzard?
settle this once and for all
who gets the wishbone?
Haiku # 73897, November 25, 2021 9:12 pm ET
by Cassowary not of Casseroles
China will kill us.
China will kill the planet
for communism.
Haiku # 73896, November 25, 2021 7:23 pm ET
by More greedy than capitalists.
cup of coffee 7
pm, snow already? well
here we go again...
Haiku # 73895, November 25, 2021 6:45 pm ET
by vhs of and so it goes.
Devil Artemis
turned Perfect Cell into an
antihero with Kermit

yes, that frog.
Haiku # 73894, November 25, 2021 6:16 pm ET
by vhs
the old man in the
corner of the website did
the best poem here.
Haiku # 73893, November 25, 2021 6:04 pm ET
by vhs
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