Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 248 Days and 77180 Haiku later...

yeah! love that album
undeservedly obscure
gets zero airplay
Haiku # 74016, November 28, 2021 1:55 pm ET
by scotch
yeah! love that album
undeservedly obscure
gets zero airplay
Haiku # 74015, November 28, 2021 1:54 pm ET
by scotch
Listen: Bridge of Sighs
will reveal knowledge to you.
Please listen to it.
Haiku # 74014, November 28, 2021 1:26 pm ET
by Thank You, Sincerely: R. Trower
I am so fucked-up
that I need to interact
with lost souls right here.
Haiku # 74013, November 28, 2021 1:24 pm ET
by Modern Life Has Failed Me
I love nobody,
except those who post haiku
here at the crossroads...
Haiku # 74012, November 28, 2021 1:10 pm ET
by Fell Down on my Knees at the Juncture of the Crossroads
so when i lose my
temper, lost my glasses when
do i find myself?
Haiku # 74007, November 28, 2021 11:01 am ET
by vhs
Bad troll! Bad! No no!
No internet porn today!
Now say you're sorry!
Haiku # 74006, November 28, 2021 10:42 am ET
by I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. So terribly sorry.
Should I f*** squirrels?
Animal experts say no.
I do anyway.
Haiku # 74005, November 28, 2021 10:38 am ET
by Squirrel Whisperer of I whisper in their ears fun things to do with nuts.
Left over stuffing.
Turkey broth with fat skimmed off.
My God, it's heaven!
Haiku # 74004, November 28, 2021 10:33 am ET
by Don't forget the giblets!
Should I feed squirrels?
Animal experts say no.
I do anyway.
Haiku # 74003, November 28, 2021 10:30 am ET
by Squirrel Boss
What's on "smart TV"?
Grey's Anatomy drama.
Bizarre use of "smart".
Haiku # 74002, November 28, 2021 10:19 am ET
by Alexa, add organic koala bear tampons to my shopping list.
Keurig coffee cunts.
Modern abominations.
Horrible flavor.
Haiku # 74001, November 28, 2021 10:14 am ET
by This is the future??? of Send me back to 1990 please.
In my next life I'll
dumpster dive all of my food
and live underground.
Haiku # 74000, November 28, 2021 10:08 am ET
by "Zero footprint." of I admire those eccentric old fuckers.
My biggest pet peeve.
Americans wasting food.
Kick them in the balls.
Haiku # 73999, November 28, 2021 10:05 am ET
by Right square in the noots!
Don't trust the reindeer.
Most of them have Nazi names.
They won't bring Jews toys.
Haiku # 73997, November 28, 2021 9:07 am ET
by Santa lives in Venezuela now.
Biscuits and gravy?
Or high fiber cereal?
I guess I should poo.
Haiku # 73996, November 28, 2021 9:03 am ET
by Killer Cereal would be a good brand name for a breakfast cereal, no?
Wanted to get high.
Went to the dispensary.
There was just a monk.

He dispensed wisdom.
But it was none I could use.
Asked for a refund.

He gave me a nun.
It was a nun I could use.
And she got me high.
Haiku # 73995, November 28, 2021 9:00 am ET
by Score!
Eat a hug dinner
and get drunk on Christmas Eve.
Puke in grandma's vase.
Haiku # 73994, November 28, 2021 8:40 am ET
by Uh oh, that was gramp's ashes.
Not Venezuela!
That's where the old Nazis live!
They're responsible!

They are doing this!
All this spam's a Nazi plot!
It's not the commies!
Haiku # 73993, November 28, 2021 7:14 am ET
by ...or something.
So... i will break protocol.

vhs... if you are having chest pains, please see a doc. And try to eat right.
Haiku # 73986, November 28, 2021 1:31 am ET
by df
Is it possible
that you could really be me
and I not know it?
Haiku # 73985, November 28, 2021 1:20 am ET
by *Checks browser history.* of Nope! Whew, dodged a bullet there.
I'll identify
as the last living sane man.
*Laughs like a madman.*
Haiku # 73984, November 28, 2021 1:07 am ET
by Queue Diary of a Madman of
Since it's wrong to laugh
at most of the world these days,
the world has gone mad.
Haiku # 73983, November 28, 2021 1:02 am ET
by Darth Whorendous
A truly mad man
Can never laugh at himself.
That's the litmus test.
Haiku # 73980, November 27, 2021 11:09 pm ET
by Laffy Taffy
Here we go and this
Is the Philip kindred
Dick world he dreamed up
Haiku # 73978, November 27, 2021 10:11 pm ET
by Mox
An awesome webpage.
Am I right, or what?
Haiku # 73976, November 27, 2021 8:26 pm ET
by You know it's true.
A fake world made by
A fake guy who is autistic
Seeming like person..
Haiku # 73972, November 27, 2021 4:55 pm ET
by Vhs
A fake world made by
A fake guy who is autistic
Seeming like person..
Haiku # 73971, November 27, 2021 4:55 pm ET
by Vhs
You seriously
think I'll murder anyone?
I just see "Meta"....

It's fucking awful.
Our future is in VR?!?!
Makes me want to puke.
Haiku # 73970, November 27, 2021 4:14 pm ET
by If this is the future, I want no part of it. of Give me a shack and garden by the ocean.
Vhs.... you're right.
I am a sociopath.
You can still like me.

Please don't stop posting.
I'll try to buffer my angst.
This world just... you know.
Haiku # 73969, November 27, 2021 4:07 pm ET
by I still think the PornHub nude poetry readings is a great idea. And, of course, a good reason to get in shape. LOL.
How fitting for this
Sharing on line shitting up
A good idea, bad
Haiku # 73968, November 27, 2021 3:45 pm ET
by Vhs
Maybe I'll die from
The chest pains I have me think
It's just pulled muscle

I take shit to heart.
Personal... I'm not
A sociopath

Like I think you are
Df... I wanted to like
You but maybe I'll

Just stop posting.
Haiku # 73966, November 27, 2021 3:39 pm ET
by Vhs
I had two guys ride
My ass in a pick up...they were
Trolling, I though they

Drove like they wanted
To hit me, now I don't see
What the game was but

You've ruined this site
For me, you I don't know what
To do with unhinged

Trolls or whatever
Even though we could argue
That's what I'm doing.
Haiku # 73965, November 27, 2021 3:36 pm ET
by Vhs
Dude, you're pissing me
Off, maybe I just need to ignore
The psychopath that

Posts here but fuck off
Fuck you, fuck your fantasies
Fuck your sociopathy

Fuck your unhinged threats
Against strangers, good friends live
There, get a life or

Get lost and fuck off
Haiku # 73964, November 27, 2021 3:33 pm ET
by You know who
I'll not stop writing
"DTZ" until he's dead.
Nuclear mishap?
Haiku # 73961, November 27, 2021 1:29 pm ET
by California's not too far from Los Alamos of DTZ!!
I feel like a slug.
Ate way too much damn turkey.
Got me all plugged up.
Haiku # 73960, November 27, 2021 1:26 pm ET
by Happy leftover day. of DTZ!
Here I sit, broken-
hearted, tried to write haiku,
but someone didn't replace the toilet paper.
Haiku # 73959, November 27, 2021 1:24 pm ET
by DTZ!
Time machine wanted.
I'll kill Zuckerberg's parents
before they conceive.

Maybe Bezos too.
They caused corona virus.
Therefore they should die.
Haiku # 73958, November 27, 2021 1:11 pm ET
by Yes!
If you send spam sites,
at least make sure its good porn.
Dolphins bang fat chick.

And I can't read it.
At least translate your damn ads.
Lazy pig commies.
Haiku # 73957, November 27, 2021 1:04 pm ET
by Right????
I can suggest you
Many website to visit
From dull Chinese bots.
Haiku # 73955, November 27, 2021 12:06 pm ET
by Sketchy Website Name of Out of Asia
You should not be here.
This website's not for children.
Leave or we'll spank you.
Haiku # 73953, November 27, 2021 11:34 am ET
by Spare the rod, spoil the brat.
Watch my nude haiku.
PornHub poetry readings.
Includes flatulence.
Haiku # 73952, November 27, 2021 11:30 am ET
by All proceeds go to murdering Mark Zuckerberg.
Dearest Santa Claus
What I would like for Christmas
Figbit haiku watch
Haiku # 73951, November 27, 2021 10:26 am ET
by goal of 10,000 syllables per day
I farted so loud
it woke the people nextdoor;
the called the police.

The police said I
can kill Zuckerberg because
nobody likes him.
Haiku # 73950, November 27, 2021 10:23 am ET
by Suffocation by methane?
Dearest Santa Claus,
What I would like for Christmas
is Zuckerberg dead.

While we are at it,
we can also bomb "Meta".
Take down their servers!

That would be the best
Christmas gift I ever got.
Doesn't matter how.

But if Zuckerberg
were eaten alive by pigs,
that would be awesome!
Haiku # 73949, November 27, 2021 7:38 am ET
by Thanks Santa! of Merry Christmas!
Jesus blah blah blah.
Everyone hates Christmas songs.
Now the next topic.

Murdering the douche.
Yes, of course, Mark Zuckerberg.
Dark web sniper gear.

It needs to be done.
Free the world of his zombies.
Virtually dead.
Haiku # 73948, November 27, 2021 7:31 am ET
by Tell me I'm wrong!
Why didn't Jesus
walk on a bunch of hot coals?
That would be something.
Haiku # 73944, November 27, 2021 1:04 am ET
by BBQ of Sandals
I'll never forget
waking up Christmas morning
and finding him there
all covered with soot
I think he pissed himself, too.
Jesus in fireplace.
Haiku # 73943, November 27, 2021 1:00 am ET
by Finder of singed sandal
It isn't murder.
Zuckerberg isn't human.
Zombie cyborg creep.
Haiku # 73941, November 26, 2021 9:04 pm ET
by Join DTZ party.
Zuckerberg should die.
Who needs your damn articles.
Poison, guns, and bombs.
Haiku # 73940, November 26, 2021 9:00 pm ET
by DTZ of Mark Zuckerberg lives at 1456 Edgewood Drive, Palo Alto, California 94301.
< 50 Less Recent Haiku 50 More Recent Haiku >