If the Fonz was so
Cool, how come he hung out with
Fuckwits like Potzy?

Now, that's not to say
You should put on blue pants,but
Use your fucking head

Dum dum dum dum dum
Dum dum dum dum dum dum dum
Smoke on the water.

Bad haiku is good.
Oxymoronic? wise? Ahhh!
Think about it! Ahhhhhhhhh!

Velvet Underground
From Sweet Jane to Candy Says
This band rocks my world

Where are you tonight?
Spinning in circles no doubt
On auto pilot

Am I lonesome now?
Yes, I am lonesome tonight
Thank you, internet

Over vinyards flock
fluttering wings of starlings.
Aerobatic flight.

YOU THINK YOUR LIFE SUCKS?
WELL IT DOES, SO YOU ARE RIGHT
WHEW! SUCKS TO BE YOU!

I DO SO HATE MEN
MAYBE I SHOULD CONSIDER
FINDING A GIRLFRIEND

Hey pretty birdie
Perched high upon the treetop
Please don't poop on me

counting syllables
i had a slight problem there
so sue me okay

hollywood bonfire
i enjoy your haiku, but
you are one sick puppy

hollywood bonfire
i enjoy your haiku, but
you are one sick puppy

Squirrels eating nuts
If they only knew the truth
They're all gonna die

Flying bananas
Have stained the walls around me
Stale, mushy debris

I wrote a rock song
called 'let's tit fuck the fat guy'
I should tone it down

Some people think that
I am living in the sun
But it is cold here

Hot origami
Spewing from the Canon's mouth
Aieee!!! Paper jam!

Cow Revolution!
We will be discarded on
History

If Fate was a cop
I'd shoot him with his gun, and
play with his siren.

cops make me nervous
in my trunk I still have those
two rotting pandas

If not for the wife
I'd start me a smack habit
Thanks a lot, you bitch

If you have taste buds
You may be up Jacob's Creek
Without a paddle.

*sip* *gag* *choke* Chateau
Cookaburra has hints of
Cat's piss and napalm.

Don't be shy, mate. Jump
Hard on them. They say it's a
Good Athlete's Foot cure.

Don't be shy, mate. Jump
Hard on them. They say it's a
Good Athlete's Foot cure.

Australian wine!
This is what it would taste like
If grapes could wee.

Oh Mr Ed, quit
Hassling me. Or it's the glue
Factory for you.

oh souterini
5 then 7 syllables
then 5 again please

and renovating
why is it that much slower
than interstellar travel

Turning 40
Face cracks
summer, winter
hair gone down sink

Moving, drifting cloud
Smells of bad eggs, with onions
Did somebody fart?

old recurring dream:
Fonz says 'sit on it' to me
first punch breaks his nose

sure I'm a doctor
now let's just take a look here
what the hell is that?

some son of a bitch
kicked my grandma in the balls
and stole all her pills

Silly person
Trying to write good haiku not bad
Go eat a poop

It is the weak who
Do not have the guts to say
What they really think

Why the Haiku's lack
of onomatopoeia?
Buzz! Click! Burp! Chirp! Poot!

Leaves fall pattering
The forests brown red and gold
Autumn in the wind

Unprepossessing
Showers are overrated
Revel in the stink

The Man pissed me off
anger's tasty medicine
I fist-fuck his face

I get all dyslexic
when it comes to choosing words
With Haiku in mind

auf boarisch hoasst des
imma no gstanzl macha
mia macha des aa

(that

some folks call it strange
when a man like me tries to
piss in his own mouth

pick which co-worker
is most likely to come in
and shoot everyone

i hate the toothache
but surely not as much as
i hate the dentist

uninspiring
silly, stupid and mindless
bad haiku is great