Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 135 Days and 76968 Haiku later...

this webpage really
makes my blood boil and ooze
who knew it would suck
Haiku # 1143, February 5, 1999 3:37 pm ET
by jane of Princeton, USA
Its Ok. cause your
face will show it but your body wont
make me cum sexy
Haiku # 1142, February 4, 1999 11:19 pm ET
by sandy
Beautiful you are
Sweeter than honey am I
Poke me like a bee.
Haiku # 1141, February 4, 1999 3:11 pm ET
by Tiger May Howell of Kearney, U.S.A.
nothing like a night
of dancing with strange women
my hand is a slut
Haiku # 1140, February 4, 1999 1:34 pm ET
by Thunder Stork
tune up and new tyres
vrooooom, yellow two-stroke trail bike
and... ring ding ding ding!
Haiku # 1139, February 3, 1999 10:46 pm ET
by ashley of Oz
dig my own grave--it's
to be my interior
design masterpiece

Haiku # 1138, February 3, 1999 1:36 pm ET
by Eddie Futch
no vision and no
memory; ALL BOW TO THE
GREAT MAJORITY!!!

Haiku # 1137, February 3, 1999 1:30 pm ET
by Eddie Futch
light-headed, heavy
eyes. grey planet...my duty
is to kill them all

Haiku # 1136, February 3, 1999 1:27 pm ET
by Eddie Futch
World runs mad. Ginger
Spice a UN rep? I need
An anti-tank mine.
Haiku # 1135, February 2, 1999 3:13 pm ET
by Reverend JimJonestown, Guiana
two more weeks to go
working till my holidays
sucks like a hoover
Haiku # 1134, February 1, 1999 7:32 pm ET
by ashley of Oz
i feel charming, oh
so charming it's alarming
how charming i feel
Haiku # 1133, January 30, 1999 10:04 am ET
by jviva of cambridge, usa
little grasshopper
snatch the pebble from my hand
whoops... that's bad kung fu
Haiku # 1132, January 30, 1999 7:39 am ET
by ashley of Oz
hollywood bonfire
jerk like an epileptic
but keep on typing
Haiku # 1131, January 30, 1999 7:30 am ET
by ashley of Oz
that handy bonfire
whips up his secret sauce for
mom's fruits and veggies
Haiku # 1130, January 29, 1999 8:37 pm ET
by squish
Better check your shoes
The smell of steaming dog shit
Is one I know well
Haiku # 1129, January 29, 1999 6:12 pm ET
by AHHT
somehow i can speak
in different languages
when i shoot my load
Haiku # 1128, January 29, 1999 4:05 pm ET
by Thunder Stork
Dirty old man sifts
through ladies room garbage for
tampons to make soup.
Haiku # 1127, January 29, 1999 11:43 am ET
by Intern
mom buys groceries
nice fresh fruits and vegetables
now guess what I do
Haiku # 1126, January 29, 1999 10:33 am ET
by Hollywood Bonfire
When I'm away she
reminisces and shoots warm
yogurt on her back.
Haiku # 1125, January 29, 1999 9:56 am ET
by Intern of WEST HELENA,
don't be so, nasty!
the only flame needed here
is that old bonfire
Haiku # 1124, January 29, 1999 2:34 am ET
by ashley of Oz
a jack in a box
will be worth two in the hand
hang on hollywood
Haiku # 1123, January 29, 1999 2:17 am ET
by ashley of Oz
fluffy cute kitttens
black velvet Elvis paintings
i puke in the sink
Haiku # 1122, January 29, 1999 2:10 am ET
by oldashty
that Bonfire person
twice now has shown us his spunk
jacking off wildly
Haiku # 1121, January 29, 1999 12:32 am ET
by squish
I like to be by
myself in my apartment
alone with sauerkraut
Haiku # 1120, January 29, 1999 12:20 am ET
by Thunder Stork of Arcata,
i was having fun
too bad you scrutinize the
content of bad poems
Haiku # 1119, January 28, 1999 7:20 pm ET
by oldnasty
the sun can't decide
blackbirds crowd the power lines
I jack off wildly
Haiku # 1118, January 28, 1999 2:38 pm ET
by Hollywood Bonfire
A hack, a cough, a
wheeze and a dank rotten queef.
The bitch must be back.
Haiku # 1117, January 28, 1999 12:01 pm ET
by Intern
source variety
not the same flavoured repeats
is the spice of life
Haiku # 1116, January 27, 1999 11:47 pm ET
by ashley of ox
i asked the nice man
for hypoallergenic
handcuffs and he laughed
Haiku # 1115, January 27, 1999 3:52 pm ET
by oldnasty
why oh why oh why
didnt my bad poems make it?
were they just too bad?
Haiku # 1114, January 27, 1999 2:35 pm ET
by oldnasty
sixteen men in jail
will attest that there is no
thing like manly love
Haiku # 1113, January 27, 1999 2:24 pm ET
by oldnasty
sometimes when I sneeze
objects fly out my nose and
hit my girlfriends face
Haiku # 1112, January 27, 1999 2:21 pm ET
by oldnasty
those damn chirping birds
are the true reason I dont
wash my car often
Haiku # 1111, January 27, 1999 2:17 pm ET
by oldnasty
dont ask me for change
it took me forty minutes
to collect my own
Haiku # 1110, January 27, 1999 2:13 pm ET
by oldnasty
the natives are drunk
the elders sing songs of love
later they'll shoot guns
Haiku # 1109, January 27, 1999 2:10 pm ET
by oldnasty
today we eat spam
I throw mine at the t.v.
it stick to the screen
Haiku # 1108, January 27, 1999 2:07 pm ET
by oldnasty
what is it with pigs?
Haiku # 1107, January 27, 1999 2:05 pm ET
by F
she told me she'd stay
then she stole my wallet
but not my bottle
Haiku # 1106, January 27, 1999 2:04 pm ET
by oldnasty
the evil of it
you suck me long time baby
i like cheezy poofs
Haiku # 1105, January 27, 1999 2:01 pm ET
by lugenius speed of eureka,
I crave indulgence
Of the other Haikuists.
Louise, send me mail!
Haiku # 1104, January 27, 1999 1:17 pm ET
by Reverend Jim
What's your beef, wise one?
Mad cows got you climbing walls?
Cow, you, who is who?
Haiku # 1103, January 27, 1999 1:14 pm ET
by Reverend Jim of GreatSatanVille, US
Oh Aussie Lao_Tse
Wisdom, like antipodean
Wine, ages badly.
Haiku # 1102, January 27, 1999 1:07 pm ET
by Reverend Jim of GreatSatanVille, US
Angel has a poop a pretty poop parade,
with lolypoops and caramel terds,
she's having a poop of a time
Haiku # 1101, January 27, 1999 10:59 am ET
by Redphish23 of Mason, United States
we're clean out of love
you tell me this, turn, and sleep
I jack off wildly
Haiku # 1100, January 27, 1999 10:27 am ET
by Hollywood Bonfire
nasal and ear hair
the hirsute of pappy-ness
'though not on my head
Haiku # 1099, January 27, 1999 10:10 am ET
by George of Sydney, Australia
I have visions of
A celebrity plane crash
Bye bye Jim Carrey
Haiku # 1098, January 26, 1999 6:59 pm ET
by AHHT
scadalous joey
thinks about the best of times
while sitting in jail
Haiku # 1097, January 26, 1999 4:51 pm ET
by oldnasty of arcata, usa
one more time i drink
the juice of fermenting grains
to deal with the wife
Haiku # 1096, January 26, 1999 4:49 pm ET
by oldnasty of arcata, usa
please get me away
from this goddamn plastic box
before i explode
Haiku # 1095, January 26, 1999 4:42 pm ET
by oldnasty of arcata, usa
my pasty fat gut
yearns for Hollywood's bright wit
to split it open
Haiku # 1094, January 26, 1999 4:40 pm ET
by oldnasty of arcata, usa
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