Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 136 Days and 76970 Haiku later...

Provincial Jane Doe:
Culture is what you lack friend
I pity your soul
Haiku # 1147, February 5, 1999 4:10 pm ET
by Stephen of Princeton, USA
Steve you are too slow
I can out poet you now
ha ha ha ha ha
Haiku # 1146, February 5, 1999 4:06 pm ET
by Jane of Princeton, USA
Oh loudmouth Stephen
My mean friend you misled me
You are so so wrong
Haiku # 1145, February 5, 1999 3:59 pm ET
by Jane of Princeton, USA
oh jane what is wrong?
the haiku is your buddy
join the fun, love it
Haiku # 1144, February 5, 1999 3:55 pm ET
by Stephen of Princeton, USA
this webpage really
makes my blood boil and ooze
who knew it would suck
Haiku # 1143, February 5, 1999 3:37 pm ET
by jane of Princeton, USA
Its Ok. cause your
face will show it but your body wont
make me cum sexy
Haiku # 1142, February 4, 1999 11:19 pm ET
by sandy
Beautiful you are
Sweeter than honey am I
Poke me like a bee.
Haiku # 1141, February 4, 1999 3:11 pm ET
by Tiger May Howell of Kearney, U.S.A.
nothing like a night
of dancing with strange women
my hand is a slut
Haiku # 1140, February 4, 1999 1:34 pm ET
by Thunder Stork
tune up and new tyres
vrooooom, yellow two-stroke trail bike
and... ring ding ding ding!
Haiku # 1139, February 3, 1999 10:46 pm ET
by ashley of Oz
dig my own grave--it's
to be my interior
design masterpiece

Haiku # 1138, February 3, 1999 1:36 pm ET
by Eddie Futch
no vision and no
memory; ALL BOW TO THE
GREAT MAJORITY!!!

Haiku # 1137, February 3, 1999 1:30 pm ET
by Eddie Futch
light-headed, heavy
eyes. grey planet...my duty
is to kill them all

Haiku # 1136, February 3, 1999 1:27 pm ET
by Eddie Futch
World runs mad. Ginger
Spice a UN rep? I need
An anti-tank mine.
Haiku # 1135, February 2, 1999 3:13 pm ET
by Reverend JimJonestown, Guiana
two more weeks to go
working till my holidays
sucks like a hoover
Haiku # 1134, February 1, 1999 7:32 pm ET
by ashley of Oz
i feel charming, oh
so charming it's alarming
how charming i feel
Haiku # 1133, January 30, 1999 10:04 am ET
by jviva of cambridge, usa
little grasshopper
snatch the pebble from my hand
whoops... that's bad kung fu
Haiku # 1132, January 30, 1999 7:39 am ET
by ashley of Oz
hollywood bonfire
jerk like an epileptic
but keep on typing
Haiku # 1131, January 30, 1999 7:30 am ET
by ashley of Oz
that handy bonfire
whips up his secret sauce for
mom's fruits and veggies
Haiku # 1130, January 29, 1999 8:37 pm ET
by squish
Better check your shoes
The smell of steaming dog shit
Is one I know well
Haiku # 1129, January 29, 1999 6:12 pm ET
by AHHT
somehow i can speak
in different languages
when i shoot my load
Haiku # 1128, January 29, 1999 4:05 pm ET
by Thunder Stork
Dirty old man sifts
through ladies room garbage for
tampons to make soup.
Haiku # 1127, January 29, 1999 11:43 am ET
by Intern
mom buys groceries
nice fresh fruits and vegetables
now guess what I do
Haiku # 1126, January 29, 1999 10:33 am ET
by Hollywood Bonfire
When I'm away she
reminisces and shoots warm
yogurt on her back.
Haiku # 1125, January 29, 1999 9:56 am ET
by Intern of WEST HELENA,
don't be so, nasty!
the only flame needed here
is that old bonfire
Haiku # 1124, January 29, 1999 2:34 am ET
by ashley of Oz
a jack in a box
will be worth two in the hand
hang on hollywood
Haiku # 1123, January 29, 1999 2:17 am ET
by ashley of Oz
fluffy cute kitttens
black velvet Elvis paintings
i puke in the sink
Haiku # 1122, January 29, 1999 2:10 am ET
by oldashty
that Bonfire person
twice now has shown us his spunk
jacking off wildly
Haiku # 1121, January 29, 1999 12:32 am ET
by squish
I like to be by
myself in my apartment
alone with sauerkraut
Haiku # 1120, January 29, 1999 12:20 am ET
by Thunder Stork of Arcata,
i was having fun
too bad you scrutinize the
content of bad poems
Haiku # 1119, January 28, 1999 7:20 pm ET
by oldnasty
the sun can't decide
blackbirds crowd the power lines
I jack off wildly
Haiku # 1118, January 28, 1999 2:38 pm ET
by Hollywood Bonfire
A hack, a cough, a
wheeze and a dank rotten queef.
The bitch must be back.
Haiku # 1117, January 28, 1999 12:01 pm ET
by Intern
source variety
not the same flavoured repeats
is the spice of life
Haiku # 1116, January 27, 1999 11:47 pm ET
by ashley of ox
i asked the nice man
for hypoallergenic
handcuffs and he laughed
Haiku # 1115, January 27, 1999 3:52 pm ET
by oldnasty
why oh why oh why
didnt my bad poems make it?
were they just too bad?
Haiku # 1114, January 27, 1999 2:35 pm ET
by oldnasty
sixteen men in jail
will attest that there is no
thing like manly love
Haiku # 1113, January 27, 1999 2:24 pm ET
by oldnasty
sometimes when I sneeze
objects fly out my nose and
hit my girlfriends face
Haiku # 1112, January 27, 1999 2:21 pm ET
by oldnasty
those damn chirping birds
are the true reason I dont
wash my car often
Haiku # 1111, January 27, 1999 2:17 pm ET
by oldnasty
dont ask me for change
it took me forty minutes
to collect my own
Haiku # 1110, January 27, 1999 2:13 pm ET
by oldnasty
the natives are drunk
the elders sing songs of love
later they'll shoot guns
Haiku # 1109, January 27, 1999 2:10 pm ET
by oldnasty
today we eat spam
I throw mine at the t.v.
it stick to the screen
Haiku # 1108, January 27, 1999 2:07 pm ET
by oldnasty
what is it with pigs?
Haiku # 1107, January 27, 1999 2:05 pm ET
by F
she told me she'd stay
then she stole my wallet
but not my bottle
Haiku # 1106, January 27, 1999 2:04 pm ET
by oldnasty
the evil of it
you suck me long time baby
i like cheezy poofs
Haiku # 1105, January 27, 1999 2:01 pm ET
by lugenius speed of eureka,
I crave indulgence
Of the other Haikuists.
Louise, send me mail!
Haiku # 1104, January 27, 1999 1:17 pm ET
by Reverend Jim
What's your beef, wise one?
Mad cows got you climbing walls?
Cow, you, who is who?
Haiku # 1103, January 27, 1999 1:14 pm ET
by Reverend Jim of GreatSatanVille, US
Oh Aussie Lao_Tse
Wisdom, like antipodean
Wine, ages badly.
Haiku # 1102, January 27, 1999 1:07 pm ET
by Reverend Jim of GreatSatanVille, US
Angel has a poop a pretty poop parade,
with lolypoops and caramel terds,
she's having a poop of a time
Haiku # 1101, January 27, 1999 10:59 am ET
by Redphish23 of Mason, United States
we're clean out of love
you tell me this, turn, and sleep
I jack off wildly
Haiku # 1100, January 27, 1999 10:27 am ET
by Hollywood Bonfire
nasal and ear hair
the hirsute of pappy-ness
'though not on my head
Haiku # 1099, January 27, 1999 10:10 am ET
by George of Sydney, Australia
I have visions of
A celebrity plane crash
Bye bye Jim Carrey
Haiku # 1098, January 26, 1999 6:59 pm ET
by AHHT
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