the snow beckons tho
i lack funds to ski, i can
still drink my friends' scotch

"Ah believe what ah
believe, because most of the
time ah believe it."

G not J

"agricultural
folk like us, know just how unfair
the death penalty is!"

an easy target,
Texas, so big and banal...
(metaphorically)

hmm, christopher guest?
or mark wahlberg, sean penn?
it would still be flat

it should have been good
it had such a great premise
art reflecting life

WHo da ho? you da-
ho no ho you da ho, ho
I daho no yo da ho

ASSHOLE
[]
[]
[]
[]
/

Yeah...vincent d'ono
frio would be better I
meant to say, really.

Vincent would be a
better choice for Happy, TX
(the movie). Oh well.

>>With her father knocking at the door... 1218 Calories
>>With your wife knocking at the door.... 3521 Calories

DRESSING UP AFTERWARDS:
>>Calmly................................. 32 Calories
>>In a hurry............................. 98 Calories

>>50-59 years............................ 972 Calories
>>60-69 years............................ 2916 Calories
>>70 and over......................... Results are still pending

GETTING A SECOND ERECTION: If you are:
>>20-29 years old........................ 36 Calories
>>30-39 years............................ 80 Calories
>>40-49 years............................ 124 Calories

POST ORGASM:
>>Lying in bed hugging................... 18 Calories
>>Getting up immediately................. 36 Calories
>>Explaining why you got out of bed immediately......816 Calories

ORGASMIC:
>>Real................................... 112 Calories
>>False.................................. 315 Calories

PRELIMINARIES:
>>Trying to find the clitoris............ 8 Calories
>>Trying to find the G-Spot.............. 92 Calories

PUTTING ON A CONDOM:
>>With an erection....................... 6 Calories
>>Without an erection.................... 315 Calories

OPENING HER BRA:
>>With both hands........................ 8 Calories
>>With one hand.......................... 12 Calories
>>With your teeth........................ 85 Calories

caloric expenditure
REMOVING HER CLOTHES:
>>With her consent....................... 12 Calories
>>Without her consent.................... 187 Calories

test

by the way, forgot
to mention important thing:
Janis, we love you!

this guy plays odd shit
bizarre meld of death-thrash and
tinkly syrup

att: moths

o fluttery friends
true, you make me wet my pants
that's not all bad though

terrified screaming
picks up the adrenalin
gives me quite the rush

pix of this nature
have many parallels with
grandma's cock haiku

Goddamn! at long last
bit slow to recognize but
now i see the light

ethnic cleansing in
afghanistan my, my, who
would have thought it, eh?

the day continues
grey clouds give way to blue sky
if i am lucky

I suppose that an
Axis of bad poetry
Isn't quite evil

focus gets hazy
declaring war on the world
bring back bin laden

axis of evil
high rotation rhetoric
what about enron ?

you know what i say
they ought now to start cloning--
microwaved hot dogs

fuck you

Life is just a bitch
Blue skies by day cool sea breeze
Hot old nights in cot

sell your bad haiku?
don't think you'll have much luck here
perhaps try eBay

Do not bite me please.
It is unpleasant down there.
It is painful, bitch.

Sweat on my loin cloth
Listen as it falls downward.
Drop, drop, drop it goes.

I'm advertising
something called 'insta-poem'
Please buy one today.

Listen as she laughs:
that big girl with the white streak.
God, we all hate her.

Is Mellie around?
How are the summer evenings
Along the golden coast?

Grandma has a crotch?
Hopefully not one that had
hot coffee in it.

asdn connection
western canada, pages
load, blazing fast

Message recieved . . .

To disconnect, press * now . . .

10-4 over & out

[to be formal and all - you
eunuch jelly thou!]

Me Devotchka,
I call thou, "thou" to show
Thee informal!

better than ever
bad haiku loads a' flyin'
now, where is moxie?

although it is true,
many people who post here
are slow, site's better

slow.. as in not fast
Slow as in takes a long time
For each page to load

the site just fine
some of the haiku is slow
grandma has a crotch

it's cracking me up
make no bones about it now
granny needs a crutch

Is anyone else
Finding the site to be slow?
If so, please tell me.