Sexy Olympic
sport, woman's speed skating or
camel-toes on ice. :P

eat my warm fig then
the way Alan Bates showed how
in Women in Love

lets lube up rusty
Beth, she mentioned assault, ok
I'm calling firstys

what if GM had
not invented george bush? would
we still feel embarrassed?

At least I will spare
eyes from evil images;
words assault enough.

The regulars will
probably flame me for my
poor contribution.

Lurking voyeur reads;
Finally posts a poem
on the Internet.

Give me bad haiku!
I need that whine and grinding
brain feedback loop fuzz.

Bad haiku exists
to torment the reader's mind.
No enlightement.

eat figs like D. H.
Lawrence, he said a woman
should be eaten so

split open and
with your tongue burrow, furrow
right up to the top

repeat until done

I've gone cold on sport
I just want to eat warm figs
Figs warmed by the sun

new olympic sport,
pantsless figureskating, now
that would draw a crowd

the Olympiad
yah right, the gold metal is
not even real gold!!!!!!!!!!

......aunts are jars full of
fond memories and sunshine
.....filled with tender love

legions of homeless
show up to protest, but are
shunned by cameras

are they just too slow?
should they die faster? a new
Olympic test sport?

Olympic agents
moving fast to cover those
slow poke athletes

FBI people
trained to do the mile in
under 4:50

I kill all ravers
"mpsh mpsh mpsh mpsh mpsh mpsh mpsh"
Shut it, raver scum

Oh, Jack Kerouak
I love bongos and coffee
Skee bee bop bop boo bop da

i will eat goldfish
in the name of modern art!
(cheddar cheese flavor)

Canadians,
don't tread on our goldfish,
you may get splashed

the gold fish lived!
mob filled Hotel Vancouver,
concierge looking grim

beautiful girl
in crowded lobby yelled, KICK
THE SHIT OUT OF HIM!

Then I followed the
cameras and angry mob,
chase him down Burrard

He raced into the
Hotel Vancouver and jumped
behind the front desk

I saw a goldfish
guy like that in Vancouver,
a long time ago

think he suspended
weights above the poor thing then,
cameras poised

why's it upside down?
perhaps you're meant to view it
standing on your head

life imitates art
innocent fruit my victim
banana smoothie

relieve the subject
of it's significant weight.
and color it strong!

tender forms and light.
nearly waterful colors,
transparent surface.

after the scandal
pregnant beginnings, in the
case a stoned forest

hanging from my feet
i am watching Baselitz
he looks like his art

fish in the blenders
one fish per blender and which
one shall I turn on?

spiral jetty
earth and water art
a fish is lost

the snow beckons tho
i lack funds to ski, i can
still drink my friends' scotch

"Ah believe what ah
believe, because most of the
time ah believe it."

G not J

"agricultural
folk like us, know just how unfair
the death penalty is!"

an easy target,
Texas, so big and banal...
(metaphorically)

hmm, christopher guest?
or mark wahlberg, sean penn?
it would still be flat

it should have been good
it had such a great premise
art reflecting life

WHo da ho? you da-
ho no ho you da ho, ho
I daho no yo da ho

ASSHOLE
[]
[]
[]
[]
/

Yeah...vincent d'ono
frio would be better I
meant to say, really.

Vincent would be a
better choice for Happy, TX
(the movie). Oh well.

>>With her father knocking at the door... 1218 Calories
>>With your wife knocking at the door.... 3521 Calories

DRESSING UP AFTERWARDS:
>>Calmly................................. 32 Calories
>>In a hurry............................. 98 Calories

>>50-59 years............................ 972 Calories
>>60-69 years............................ 2916 Calories
>>70 and over......................... Results are still pending

GETTING A SECOND ERECTION: If you are:
>>20-29 years old........................ 36 Calories
>>30-39 years............................ 80 Calories
>>40-49 years............................ 124 Calories

POST ORGASM:
>>Lying in bed hugging................... 18 Calories
>>Getting up immediately................. 36 Calories
>>Explaining why you got out of bed immediately......816 Calories

ORGASMIC:
>>Real................................... 112 Calories
>>False.................................. 315 Calories

PRELIMINARIES:
>>Trying to find the clitoris............ 8 Calories
>>Trying to find the G-Spot.............. 92 Calories

PUTTING ON A CONDOM:
>>With an erection....................... 6 Calories
>>Without an erection.................... 315 Calories

OPENING HER BRA:
>>With both hands........................ 8 Calories
>>With one hand.......................... 12 Calories
>>With your teeth........................ 85 Calories