bad haiku can be
very hard to have to hear
with your heart and mind

Slash & burn farming
hoary family heirloom
dense haze clogs my lungs

Harvest stubble burns
Smoking can damage your health
Autumn has cancer

Autumn fires burning
Malaysian haze strangles
the Commonwealth Games

what's this shit man
wordws they fail me
someone out there
please email me

life is short
and then you die
bake yourself a bloody pie

loving you i'll fly
away to yesterday love
that makes me cry bye

Iraq attacks us
A bomb falls from the blue sky
Bomb shelter fails me

Peaceful trailor park
There's a nice big tornado
There goes my trailor

The blue water shines
Pretty boats are everywhere
My boat is sinking

I LOOK LIKE YOU
YOU LOOK UGLY AS POO TO
ME AND YOU TOO

word for beer is beer
in most countries I have been
have not learned much

The sky is still
The ground is moving
I am drunk

Do I choose paper?
Should I go with the plastic?
It's only a bag.

When I was a kid,
I liked to play Simon Says.
Simon Says, "Sit!"
Why?

I like to suck dick,
but only on my boyfriend's.
This makes him happy.

Shit!What should I do?
I am sure I have to fart...
I'm a girl--I can't.

I would really like
to Poop on a Stick.
Just once, for Dustin!

one more bad haiku
before i have to log off
be happy i'm gone

too much time for me
to create these weird haikus
getting really bored

down down down down down
the fall has a ways to go
help help help help help

Ignore the last one
it was an erronious
mistake on my part

what br tags are
you talking about i don't
see them anywhere

taxes and death are
the two certain things in life
having fun is not

lost in my own town
no city planner for us
the streets are crooked

Stoner live and stoners die
But in the end we all get high
so if in life you don't succeed
fuck it all and smoke some weed

God is perfect
Men are not
Men made wiskey
God made pot
lifes a bitchand then you die
so spark a joint
And lets get high

Howling at the moon
for no apparant reason
it's too far away

I loved him
But the little bastard died
Now I don't

I sit at my desk
Government stoogie am I
I think the clock stopped

I once was a dog.
So, I liked to pee on trees?
I shit on the grass.

pots and humanoids
long journeys and hot showers
three futile wishes

br br br br br
br br br br br br br
br br br br br

Free the bloated newt
to soak lightly in ether--
trees, rocks, other stuff!

Wine is fine, I hear;
also, liquor is quicker.
But then there's the skate.

He offered his honor
She honored his offer
For tha rest of tha nite
It was On her Off her
On her Off her......

Hey, we all know this one!!

shit shit shit shit shit
damn damn damn damn damn damn damn
my zipper jambed

KNOWLEDGE IS POWER
ABSOLUTE POWER CORUPTES
BUT POWER CORUPTES

"ODE TO SUPERFICIAL HIGHSCHOOL GIRLS"
Jenny eats dinner
and gets thinner and thinner
probably because she vomits
AFTER she eats dinner.

i hate it when guys
think that they can order me
about; "Don't Bite!!Ouch!!!"

the worms are crawling
through my brain, what's left of it
driving me insane
worms worms worms worms worms worms are eating my brain
when u wish upon the dirt it don't matter who you hurt

we wish that guys would
just not be shocked when we say
that we like to suck

slide the strawberry
through the thick, sweet whipped cream and
put it in your mouth

when you sit on a
frog make sure it's not a log
because you'll sqwash it

there once was a man
from nantucket who sat on
a bucket and said

that shirt
oh that shirt
the shirt in the window
means so much to me
reminds me of childhood
how much does it cost?

WHORE
She walks streets at night
Selling herself for money
wishing she could stop
If you ask me what
I think of her and what she
does. I'll say "Don't ask."
Those who stick their nose
in other people's business
choose to

You graphical folk
Seem to have lots of free time.
Can I be one, too?

Big digital boat.
Androgynous teen idol.
Billions of dollars.

Monkeys are flying
Out of my butt. My big, round,
robust, rotund butt.