Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
29 Years, 78 Days and 78054 Haiku later...
Horrible poetry for the digital age
29 Years, 78 Days and 78054 Haiku later...
I'm going to party
like it's 1999.
Prince is annoying.
like it's 1999.
Prince is annoying.
by of Cloverdale, U. S. A.
cheese-scented jumpsuit!
a car made of rancid meat!
underwear for dogs!
a car made of rancid meat!
underwear for dogs!
by
when I was a boy
walking to school in spring
I'd drink or take drugs
walking to school in spring
I'd drink or take drugs
by
the new year will bloom
while I sleep, my face against
the toilet's cool base
while I sleep, my face against
the toilet's cool base
by
o celebration
earth is in that spot again
where hangovers spawn
earth is in that spot again
where hangovers spawn
by of Oz
Cheerios are sweet
as they crunch in my mouth. Crunch!
I'll have more tomorrow.
as they crunch in my mouth. Crunch!
I'll have more tomorrow.
by of Loves Park, USA
Where to eat tonight....
"I don't know,what do you want?"
"No, what do you want?"
"I don't know,what do you want?"
"No, what do you want?"
by of Loves Park, USA
Snoots eats cheese wedges
Because he's a little rat!
He's so cute! Yippee!
Because he's a little rat!
He's so cute! Yippee!
by of Loves Park, USA
Large, malignant warts
Cover my grotesque body
I like to eat them.
Cover my grotesque body
I like to eat them.
by of Loves Park, USA
killing mosquitoes
is that misogynistic?
only the girls bite
is that misogynistic?
only the girls bite
by of Oz
addle my neurones
o delicious dacquiri
but no bed spins please
o delicious dacquiri
but no bed spins please
by of Oz
Is this a joke Frank?
A kangaroo chia pet?
This present sucks ass
A kangaroo chia pet?
This present sucks ass
by
unavoidable
the hirsute of pappy-ness
ear and nostril hairs
the hirsute of pappy-ness
ear and nostril hairs
by of Oz
the postal worker
brings cheese and fancy mayo
with some dead crackers
brings cheese and fancy mayo
with some dead crackers
by of marietta, us
A. and A. of Hai
Ku fame, Is you is or is
you ain't my babies?
Ku fame, Is you is or is
you ain't my babies?
by of Brooklyn, U.S.A.
Quantum mechanics
Whattsa matter? Can't grasp math?
Abacus, fuckface.
Whattsa matter? Can't grasp math?
Abacus, fuckface.
by of Brooklyn, U.S.A.
Donkey wriggles. What?
Oh, halibut's thrombosis
Dead river jackass
Oh, halibut's thrombosis
Dead river jackass
by of Brooklyn, U.S.A.
Soon, soon my birthday
Unite. Unite Capricorns!
With me and JESUS!!
Unite. Unite Capricorns!
With me and JESUS!!
by of Brooklyn, U.S.A.
One eye brow raised, the
snotty waiter condescends:
"Are these your pants, sir?"
snotty waiter condescends:
"Are these your pants, sir?"
by
You're entertaining,
unabashed, lewd, crude (tattooed?)
Merry X-mas all
unabashed, lewd, crude (tattooed?)
Merry X-mas all
by of Cloverdale, U. S. A.
Boy! Did I ever
trash that last haiku
But I'msadder Budweiser
trash that last haiku
But I'msadder Budweiser
by of Cloverdale, U. S. A.
You're entertaining,
lewd, crude, rude,(tattooed?)
Merry X-mas all
lewd, crude, rude,(tattooed?)
Merry X-mas all
by of Cloverdale, U. S. A.
come here, little gal
wriggle into Santa's lap
there's a gift for you
wriggle into Santa's lap
there's a gift for you
by
come here, little gal
sit in Santa's cozy lap
I've a gift for you.
sit in Santa's cozy lap
I've a gift for you.
by
wonder if xmas
is that mas i used to know
before it left me?
is that mas i used to know
before it left me?
by of Oz
Kiwi Soup Goddess
Barrel of potatoe grass
figure it out yourself
Barrel of potatoe grass
figure it out yourself
by of St. John's, Canada
Drinking Brill Cream
Has To be very contagious
Teddy Ruxpin has chicken legs
Has To be very contagious
Teddy Ruxpin has chicken legs
by of St. John's, Canada
a merry christmas
and a happy new year too
my fellow poets
and a happy new year too
my fellow poets
by of Oz
go through ear, stab brain
three-tined fork, keep gauze handy
jagged lights, seizure
three-tined fork, keep gauze handy
jagged lights, seizure
by
Happy holidays
To those whose bad haikus made
Me bleed from the ears.
To those whose bad haikus made
Me bleed from the ears.
by of London, UK
Hmmm. As I scroll down
I notice that they follow.
Maybe the trailing?
I notice that they follow.
Maybe the trailing?
by
Kadiz, didn't you
mean the previous haikus
Not the following?
mean the previous haikus
Not the following?
by
Work before Christmas?
Cocks. Great big swollen purple
Horses' cocks on sticks.
Cocks. Great big swollen purple
Horses' cocks on sticks.
by of London, UK
the following two
by ashley and Rev'rend Jim
are really quite good
by ashley and Rev'rend Jim
are really quite good
by
from herein i guess
things go down in history
like a lewinski
things go down in history
like a lewinski
by
Why so evasive
Mr President? Maybe
You should have come clean.
Mr President? Maybe
You should have come clean.
by of London, UK
They ask: "What evil
Lurks in the hearts of men?" This
Your drycleaner knows.
Lurks in the hearts of men?" This
Your drycleaner knows.
by of London, UK
Lie, even perjure
Himself over Monica?
Nice euphemism.
Himself over Monica?
Nice euphemism.
by of London, Terra Incognita
even tinier
threw a saddle on a louse
rode him through your pubes
threw a saddle on a louse
rode him through your pubes
by
Hallucination?
Snowing in San Francisco.
Really. I saw it.
Snowing in San Francisco.
Really. I saw it.
by
nostrils ebb and flow
the drip, drip, drip, of mucus
it's sinus rhythm
the drip, drip, drip, of mucus
it's sinus rhythm
by of Oz
dreamt I was tiny
had a saddle for my cat
rode him through the woods
had a saddle for my cat
rode him through the woods
by
a blow to the head
was not the president's crime
'twas his denial
was not the president's crime
'twas his denial
by of Oz
poetic justice
first you get to taste peaches
and then inpeachment
first you get to taste peaches
and then inpeachment
by of Oz
President impeached
At the taxpayer's expense
K. Starr should be shot
At the taxpayer's expense
K. Starr should be shot
by
that goo on her dress
should have been the only mess
that came from her mouth
should have been the only mess
that came from her mouth
by