Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 179 Days and 77087 Haiku later...

What a crappy logo
Still messing with this
Hollywood bonfire is a freak
Haiku # 1029, January 13, 1999 11:54 am ET
by Anonymous Poet of glj
http://www.topix.com/~janis/submit.gif
I'm just messing with this
shut up
Haiku # 1028, January 13, 1999 11:51 am ET
by rsgf of gd, hgdgfd
How I hate that smell!
Napalm brings my breakfast up:
Man, your foot's on fire!
Haiku # 1027, January 13, 1999 5:53 am ET
by Ron Williams of Sydney, Oz
Your come flies in eyes
My mom flab fucks you quickly
It makes me wet too
Haiku # 1026, January 13, 1999 3:24 am ET
by Meatball of Bangor, USA
Scent of new spring blooms
Clouds of everlasting hope
I hate Ebola
Haiku # 1025, January 13, 1999 12:17 am ET
by ALAN of Toronto, Canada
Morning sun, fresh dew,
Butterflies dance in the breeze.
Die mother f*cker!
Haiku # 1024, January 13, 1999 12:16 am ET
by ALAN of Toronto, Canada
The best think to do
is sneak up on little kids
and scare them badly
Haiku # 1023, January 12, 1999 12:15 pm ET
by Adam of Sunnyvale, U.S.A.
Yesterday we had a party
I drank lots of beer
I'm pissing since morning
Haiku # 1022, January 12, 1999 12:14 pm ET
by Rahul Jain of Kanpur, India
I've a friend
who writes bad poems
But, hey! Not worse than me.
Haiku # 1021, January 12, 1999 12:08 pm ET
by Rahul Jain of Kanpur, India
baby pigs at play ...
kindergarten of bacon,
grunting chorizo.
Haiku # 1020, January 12, 1999 12:05 pm ET
by Jamie Fischer of Granite Falls, U.S.A.
Stakhanov sleeps in
mine tailings, the years shrugging
the weight of vodka
Haiku # 1019, January 12, 1999 12:03 pm ET
by Jamie Fischer of Granite Falls, U.S.A.
Lemon fresh goodness
when she walks by, shyly smiles
her new shoes on fire.
Haiku # 1018, January 12, 1999 12:01 pm ET
by Jamie Fischer of Granite Falls, U.S.A.
I nory awah:
Excuse me, Uncle Mike, but
my bottom just burped.
Haiku # 1017, January 12, 1999 11:03 am ET
by Jamie Fischer of Granite Falls, U.S.A.
I write the Haiku
But there is no soup for you
Shut yer yap you fool
Haiku # 1016, January 11, 1999 12:11 pm ET
by Peter Niemeier of Woodside, USA
make up your own mind
Heisenberg's uncertainty
can't be principled
Haiku # 1015, January 10, 1999 11:37 pm ET
by ashley of Oz
that hot bitumen
underfoot, tar very much
damns my burning soles
Haiku # 1014, January 10, 1999 11:22 pm ET
by ashley of Oz
life is a banquet
most poor suckers are starving
damn stinking halo
Haiku # 1013, January 9, 1999 12:45 am ET
by Amanda B. Reckondwith
i know a man who has cauliflower warts
that bulge and protrude when he wears tight shorts
don't worry kyoko
Haiku # 1012, January 9, 1999 12:31 am ET
by flying dutchman of stinkingpitof, us o' a
I've had too many beers
She looked good last night
But not this morn
Haiku # 1011, January 8, 1999 10:39 pm ET
by Tom
My girlfriend's cold feet
Up against my back in bed
She thinks it's funny
Haiku # 1010, January 8, 1999 5:46 pm ET
by Horrified of Simpleton, USA
Mating rituals,
dreamlike rollercoasters eat
Muddy globule leaves
Haiku # 1009, January 7, 1999 8:57 pm ET
by AHHT
My pitbull is big
Stupid dog scared of people
Zero is a bitch
Haiku # 1008, January 7, 1999 1:28 pm ET
by Hate of Dena,
One, five syllables
Two, seven is next to come
Last, like first, its done
Haiku # 1007, January 7, 1999 6:13 am ET
by Dean Johnston of Menuma, Japan
Where is the toilet?
I'm going right on the floor
Here comes the poo-poo
Haiku # 1006, January 6, 1999 12:43 am ET
by Andrea of North,
Hey there Hollywood
You always inspire with
Your perfect haiku
Haiku # 1005, January 5, 1999 11:02 pm ET
by Janis of Currently in LA, USA
I miss all my friends
Burried there in Toronto
But here it is warm
Haiku # 1004, January 5, 1999 10:39 pm ET
by Janis of (currently in)LA, USA
Riding bikes in the pool
Is a lot of fun but
It's against the law
Haiku # 1003, January 5, 1999 7:26 pm ET
by AHHT
haiku from Janis!
the hostess with the mostess
for her I'd eat trash
Haiku # 1002, January 4, 1999 12:45 pm ET
by Hollywood Bonfire
Ready for 2K
chaos?
Change your name by deedpoll to "Toe-Cutter."
Haiku # 1001, January 4, 1999 10:09 am ET
by Reverend Jim of London, UK
I worry about
That microchip in my cat
When Y2K comes
Haiku # 1000, January 3, 1999 10:23 pm ET
by Janis of LA, USA
Consider storing
Many gallons of Vodka
For the coming year
Haiku # 999, January 3, 1999 10:20 pm ET
by Janis of Haiku of LA, USA
throwing knives at birds
is something I'm not proud of
but I am the best
Haiku # 998, January 3, 1999 4:42 am ET
by Hollywood Bonfire !
a cheap cardboard head
stuffed with hamburger and dirt
with a note inside
Haiku # 997, January 3, 1999 4:25 am ET
by Hollywood Bonfire
first thoughts of the year:
who the fuck killed that bottle?
oh yeah, heh heh, me
Haiku # 996, January 3, 1999 4:11 am ET
by Hollywood Bonfire
gave the hog a sow
for xmas-jumped her bones promptly
male chauvinist pig?
Haiku # 995, January 2, 1999 3:56 am ET
by haikureaddis?twilight zone,
i tossa my bait
the fishee not like 2 much
no fishee for me
Haiku # 994, January 2, 1999 3:28 am ET
by doobygillisprudhoe bay,
the seahawks season
slaps at my olfactory
like sour milk but worse
Haiku # 993, January 1, 1999 7:27 am ET
by mike of Anchorage,
I'm going to party
like it's 1999.

Prince is annoying.
Haiku # 992, December 31, 1998 7:40 pm ET
by L. D. A. of Cloverdale, U. S. A.
cheese-scented jumpsuit!
a car made of rancid meat!
underwear for dogs!
Haiku # 991, December 31, 1998 1:48 pm ET
by Hollywood Bonfire
when I was a boy
walking to school in spring
I'd drink or take drugs
Haiku # 990, December 31, 1998 1:43 pm ET
by Hollywood Bonfire
the new year will bloom
while I sleep, my face against

the toilet's cool base
Haiku # 989, December 31, 1998 1:37 pm ET
by Hollywood Bonfire
o celebration
earth is in that spot again
where hangovers spawn
Haiku # 988, December 31, 1998 5:35 am ET
by ashley of Oz
Cheerios are sweet
as they crunch in my mouth. Crunch!
I'll have more tomorrow.
Haiku # 987, December 30, 1998 11:09 am ET
by Stephy! of Loves Park, USA
Where to eat tonight....
"I don't know,what do you want?"
"No, what do you want?"
Haiku # 986, December 30, 1998 11:05 am ET
by Stephy! of Loves Park, USA
Snoots eats cheese wedges
Because he's a little rat!
He's so cute! Yippee!
Haiku # 985, December 30, 1998 11:02 am ET
by Stephy! of Loves Park, USA
Large, malignant warts
Cover my grotesque body
I like to eat them.
Haiku # 984, December 30, 1998 10:56 am ET
by Stephy! of Loves Park, USA
killing mosquitoes
is that misogynistic?
only the girls bite
Haiku # 983, December 30, 1998 6:52 am ET
by ashley of Oz
addle my neurones
o delicious dacquiri
but no bed spins please
Haiku # 982, December 30, 1998 6:47 am ET
by ashley of Oz
Is this a joke Frank?
A kangaroo chia pet?
This present sucks ass
Haiku # 981, December 29, 1998 4:05 am ET
by AHHT
unavoidable
the hirsute of pappy-ness
ear and nostril hairs
Haiku # 980, December 28, 1998 6:21 am ET
by ashley of Oz
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