Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 250 Days and 77185 Haiku later...

i hear anti troll laws
are to be passed in england boris johnson...troll...

Haiku # 73734, November 18, 2021 1:09 pm ET
by vhs
waffle this waffle
that, me laddies, where me whipped
cream an strawberries
Haiku # 73733, November 18, 2021 12:59 pm ET
by waffle pirate vhs
At the Waffle House'
I got the Awful Waffle.
It had me baffled.
Haiku # 73732, November 18, 2021 12:31 pm ET
by It was actually pretty good. of Crispy with real maple syrup.
Elmo and Hitler's
assassination attempt
on Oscar the Grouch

would have succeeded
if Elmo weren't ticklish
and Hitler not gay.
Haiku # 73731, November 18, 2021 11:36 am ET
by Oscar's bunker is way cooler than Hitler's. of Have you seen it?!
I think you need to
worry if he dresses up
as Elmo in the store
Haiku # 73730, November 18, 2021 11:00 am ET
by vhs
i think my dear we
are trying to prevent others
from getting there...

to the Bunker.
Haiku # 73729, November 18, 2021 10:56 am ET
by vhs of Archie Bunker not Hitler Bunker
Elmo's tragedy.
You did more than tickle him.
Security cam.
Haiku # 73728, November 18, 2021 10:33 am ET
by Traumatized store detective.
I do not get that.
"Decolonizing bookshelves."
Just what does that mean?


Perhaps indicates
insanity or something.
I could not tell you.

(b/c if insane, would I know it?)

But I look around.
The world and "society".
It is all insane.

Changing one's "gender".
Order everything online.
Oozing fear like sweat.

But about the end.
Assuming you got that far.
How was that for you?
Haiku # 73727, November 18, 2021 10:30 am ET
by Sweaty nads vape flavor. of Vaping...?! I mean... WTF?! What the hell has happened to us?!?!
I've seen rambling books
murikamis...i fear those
cause they're nuts that want

decolonize your
bookshelf, these same people end
up in deep bunkers

and you know what next.
Haiku # 73726, November 18, 2021 9:47 am ET
by vhs of Gottandamerung.
WalMart toy section.
You have to tickle Elmo.
When no one's looking.
Haiku # 73725, November 18, 2021 9:03 am ET
by Guilty. And I'd do it again!
Better a monkey
than a pig any old day.
Bananas beat slop.
Haiku # 73724, November 18, 2021 7:36 am ET
by Boots the Monkey
That's Dowager Feng.
Stop watching Kung Fu Panda.
Your dumplings are tough.
Haiku # 73723, November 18, 2021 7:29 am ET
by General Tsao's Chicken
Making of haiku,
the Japanese poetry
based on conscision.
Haiku # 73722, November 18, 2021 7:22 am ET
by Sorry, I have to cut this short. of That's what rabbis do.
Back to Empress Feng:
"Slay these monkeys before me.
Big-eyes smell so foul"
Haiku # 73721, November 18, 2021 7:06 am ET
by Jade and Bronze of Celestial Kingdom
Allman brothers rock.
I do love that song "Blue Sky"
Also "Whipping Post"
Haiku # 73720, November 18, 2021 7:02 am ET
by Butch Trucks of Boomer Music
Born a ramblin' man...
You do go on and on, sir.
About what, not clear.
Haiku # 73719, November 18, 2021 6:58 am ET
by Greg Allman of Backseat of a Greyhound Bus
effort of homeless druggies
and a few demons.
Haiku # 73718, November 17, 2021 11:47 pm ET
Wait, what?! You read that?
Wow. Glutten for pun-ishment.
Rambled a bit much.

Haiku # 73717, November 17, 2021 11:43 pm ET
yes, a friend, a good
friend redisovered ze pigs opus
discordian mandate

always did want to read it though
i thought DFs evil novel was interesting
Haiku # 73716, November 17, 2021 10:35 pm ET
by vhs
the blast from the past
smells nice, dusty or funk from
40 000 years pence?
Haiku # 73715, November 17, 2021 10:30 pm ET
by vhs of be kind, rewind, me back to my 1990s dorm room
yowsa, how's the nyan
crowd chilling in the bird ap?
nice to see you here?
Haiku # 73714, November 17, 2021 10:24 pm ET
by vhs of A can opener in my twitter life
something about grits
gives me the shits but i love
love love the stuff....broooown

Haiku # 73713, November 17, 2021 10:22 pm ET
by vhs
heck, I'm gonna need this
random website to pump out
more bad haikus, yeah?
Haiku # 73712, November 17, 2021 10:22 pm ET
by 179west of tempe, arizona, us, meow
nostalgia babe the
peak is the point, the perk it's
trendy bitches can

kiss my britches. ayuh
Haiku # 73711, November 17, 2021 10:18 pm ET
by vhs
Tool is past their peak.
Though "Lost Keys/Rosetta Stoned"
is up my alley.

Their new stuff is... meh.
A new band that wows would be...
more than refreshing.
Haiku # 73710, November 17, 2021 10:16 pm ET
by With the zombies we've become... I can't see it. of No one even practices these days. Too busy on FB, Twitter, and TikTok.
listen, all you have
to do is listen to a Tool
song, to see how

BAD it really is
rubber horsegirls, creepy klaus
adreno crome.
Haiku # 73709, November 17, 2021 10:02 pm ET
by vhs
damn it, they just keep
writing all the good poems
and me bitching on
Haiku # 73708, November 17, 2021 9:59 pm ET
by vhs
Covid is not the plague.
Human beings are the plague.
Mostly the poets.

Isn't it amazing that FarceBook and Amazon and TikTok and all the "Stay at Home -- Be Safe!" companies benefit... And where was it released? China.

And why are all these trillionaires running off to space?

Marijuana is now legal. Stoned people don't fight back.

Consume, consume, consume! Stores and restaurants understaffed. Everyone working at Amazon, Uber, and Door Dash.

Homeless population has exploded. And now look at this website. Some asshole is ruining it by not posting haiku. What a dick! The world is doomed.
Haiku # 73707, November 17, 2021 9:53 pm ET
by Bring on the Doom! of Fiji? Maybe a good idea!
Could Covid be one
of the final plagues on earth?
I sure hope it is. . .
Haiku # 73706, November 17, 2021 9:31 pm ET
by 7th Seal of 7th Angel
But seriously,
This mass Covid neurosis
has got to end soon.
Haiku # 73705, November 17, 2021 9:27 pm ET
by Go On and Die, Lemmings of Sheeple with Muzzles
If I could delete
all poems ever written,
that's what I would do.
Haiku # 73704, November 17, 2021 8:41 pm ET
by I love Big Brother
I want to erase
everything I've ever done
with nuclear bombs.
Haiku # 73703, November 17, 2021 6:54 pm ET
by Joe Biden
My Prayer.

Please kill Zuckerberg.
His Metaverse is too gay.
And Jeff Bezos too.
Haiku # 73702, November 17, 2021 5:25 pm ET
by Thank you for listening, Lord.
we're all "triggered" for
some reason or another
tough as they can get...
Haiku # 73701, November 17, 2021 3:23 pm ET
by vhs
I want to trigger,
I want to trigger them all.
I’m so sick of them.
Haiku # 73700, November 17, 2021 1:55 pm ET
by My Side of Global Haiku Conflict
It's good to pig out.
But we do it all the time.
So the world suffers.

And to celebrate
pig out to the n-th degree
on Thanksgiving Day.
Haiku # 73699, November 17, 2021 1:08 pm ET
by Because why not!
The Pilgrims were GOOD.
Columbus was GOOD.
Activists are BAD.
Haiku # 73698, November 17, 2021 11:46 am ET
by Queen Isabel Aragon of Castile, Espana but damn site won't do the "enye"
I'll kick this world's ass
in seventeen syllables.
Just watch me do it.
Haiku # 73697, November 17, 2021 11:41 am ET
by Fear Not of I Have Overcome This Haiku
I like Thanksgiving.
It's hard to commodify.
Indigenous feast.
Haiku # 73696, November 17, 2021 11:39 am ET
by Russel Means of AIM
It's that time of year,
to overdose on eggnog
banging a turkey.
Haiku # 73695, November 17, 2021 11:21 am ET
by What will you be having for Thanksgiving dinner?
"Identify this!"
Not a smart thing to say to
transgendered 'women'.
Haiku # 73694, November 17, 2021 11:18 am ET
by They'll do more than identify it!
I identify as
someone who puts six syllables
in the first line of a haiku and then
since that first line is fubared
might as well just go with it and throw the rule book out the window.
Haiku # 73693, November 17, 2021 11:13 am ET
by Right?
I identify as:
“shut up and leave me alone
since you are insane”
Haiku # 73692, November 17, 2021 10:50 am ET
by New Paradigm of Klown World
I identify
as militant blak poet
Doctor LeRoi Jones
Haiku # 73691, November 17, 2021 10:30 am ET
by Imamu Amiri Baraka of Jive-ass Troublemaker from Newark
Not a librarian?
I thought you were “Starkitten”,
a Scottish lassie.
Haiku # 73690, November 17, 2021 10:25 am ET
by Intelligent Canine of Old TV Show
How triangular
that last haiku seems to be.
Maybe you noticed.
Haiku # 73689, November 17, 2021 10:21 am ET
by Triangular groomed pubis with a hint of hair dye. of Makes me suspicious.

Identify as
African American
though I'm just white.
Haiku # 73688, November 17, 2021 10:17 am ET
by Inappropriate appropriation. of Tomorrow I'll be a lesbian in a man's body.
Whites are deficient.
Latinos went to the moon.
And wrote the Bible.
Haiku # 73687, November 17, 2021 10:15 am ET
by Orale Vato of West Side Kingz
A frustrated lib.?
I'm not a librarian.
I do not like books.
Haiku # 73686, November 17, 2021 10:12 am ET
by I watch 5 hours of Jerry Springer re-runs every day.
moved to silent house
keeping up with the joneses
oh, no way José
Haiku # 73685, November 17, 2021 9:47 am ET
by Your Friend Til The End of Hack N Sack
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