Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 219 Days and 77137 Haiku later...

Our homes are prisons.
Locked in by Fear and Loathing,
FaceBook and TikTok.
Haiku # 73802, November 21, 2021 11:06 am ET
by Get out while you can! of Escape to Fiji.
I know what's to come.
Doom and gloom for everyone.
Like evil Oprah.
Haiku # 73801, November 21, 2021 11:02 am ET
by You get a disease and you get a disease and everyone gets a disease! of Or starvation, or prison/concentration camps. Whatever.
i have my worries
then i have my cares but then
what is yet to come?
Haiku # 73800, November 21, 2021 10:20 am ET
by vhs
I don't care about
the earth's magnetic field
and neither should you.
Haiku # 73799, November 21, 2021 7:48 am ET
Turn your phone sideways.
And then turn it right side up.
Rotten verse dog man!
Haiku # 73798, November 21, 2021 7:10 am ET
by He'll bash you!
Dark meat and gravy.
Corn, candied yams, and stuffing.
And then there's football.
Haiku # 73797, November 21, 2021 7:01 am ET
by Dear Lord, we thank thee for protecting us from covid, terrorists, and of course the evil Mark Zuckerberg. May you forever keep him and his platforms off our devices. Amen.
I cannot keep up.
Medicinal heroin.
Order it online.

It's the world today.
Needles are a tax write off.
My accountant said.
Haiku # 73796, November 20, 2021 10:22 pm ET
by Come on, Biden, push the button.
Wimmins in Japan
be imported from Russia.
Saw it on TV.
Haiku # 73795, November 20, 2021 7:56 pm ET
by Yep.
Wimmin are funny.
Do they have them in Japan?
Maybe a phone app...
Haiku # 73794, November 20, 2021 7:30 pm ET
by Virtual Feminine of Smartphone
Ice Age number five:
I really tried to watch it.
But it revulsed me.
Haiku # 73793, November 20, 2021 7:26 pm ET
by Mass-produced Neurosis of AMURIKKKKA
Have you given up?
You already have enough?
Your game's obvious.
Haiku # 73792, November 20, 2021 7:08 pm ET
Quantum mechanics
don't work on broken down cars
nor do they drink beer.
Haiku # 73791, November 20, 2021 5:00 pm ET
by They earn slightly above minimum wage. of But no one knows what work they actually do.
Aardvarks are funny.
Do they have them in Japan?
I do not think so.
Haiku # 73790, November 20, 2021 4:56 pm ET
by Chocolate fondu. of It's fun to do.
Beet borscht bastard brew
bubbling banefully by
blasting blueberries.
Haiku # 73789, November 20, 2021 4:49 pm ET
by Beethoven
Probably sewage,
parasites, hazardous waste,
and thought suppressants.
Haiku # 73787, November 20, 2021 1:06 pm ET
by If you saw it, you'd understand. of only the rich can afford clean water. Sad, really.
yes this relic a
living fossil that will out
live fakebook thank God...

wtf is in your water df?
Haiku # 73786, November 20, 2021 10:48 am ET
by vhs
Do you suffer from
poor sexual performance/
Haiku # 73785, November 20, 2021 10:22 am ET
by of You may qualify for financing.
Life is a sick joke,
Bad haiku the antidote.
Darth is the maiden.
Haiku # 73784, November 20, 2021 10:09 am ET
by Let Us Rescue the Damsel said the Knight of Puckered Fig
Google News reminds
me of old horror movies.
Alien AI.
Haiku # 73783, November 20, 2021 10:01 am ET
by Celebrity surgeries gone wrong. of Telepathic abilities.
Facebook ads remind
me of the old National
Inquirer news.
Haiku # 73782, November 20, 2021 9:59 am ET
by What was once bad humor is now top of the line online information.
Let's get back to boobs.
Big or small doesn't matter.
They make me splatter.
Haiku # 73781, November 20, 2021 7:01 am ET
by Daaaaarth!
Nursing home rampage.
Assisted living shootings.
Here at eleven.
Haiku # 73780, November 20, 2021 6:56 am ET
by And now here's Tom with the weather.
And in other news,
hypersonic missile nukes,
sonic baby pukes.
Haiku # 73779, November 20, 2021 6:50 am ET
by Mutants, mutants, everywhere! of Three testicled cyclops goats ate my best marijuana plants!
One boobed Italy I be.
Who needs lactose free?!
Haiku # 73778, November 20, 2021 6:40 am ET
by Good friends with Eccentrica Gallumbits, the triple breasted whore of Eroticon 6
Darth, you ARE a boob.
Not left or right, just one boob
Smack in the middle.
Haiku # 73777, November 20, 2021 6:04 am ET
by Mammary Cyclops of Puckered Fig
Yeah, but be diverse.
Kill people of all colors,
"genders", and ages.

And do it naked.
Show schlongs and boobs on the news.
Naked death orgies.

Otherwise it's yaaawwwwn.
Can you change the channel please.
Game of Thrones nude scenes!

Haiku # 73776, November 20, 2021 1:39 am ET
by Never enough BOOBS!
Kyle is a hero!
Shot a thug child molester.
He should have killed more.
Haiku # 73775, November 19, 2021 10:51 pm ET
by White Guy Kills 2 Whites of Cuz He RAYCISS ha ha ha ha ha
"Poet hangs himself."
And now for today's weather.
Cold, wet, and windy.
Haiku # 73773, November 19, 2021 9:55 pm ET
by Homicide is far more fitting in todays world than suicide. of Don't be a pussy, waste some assholes you don't like.
Who's Kyle Shitinhouse?
Did he molest Joe Biden?
Post it on YouTube?

Oh, he shot people.
It's not inappropriate.
We should all do that.
Haiku # 73772, November 19, 2021 9:48 pm ET
by God Bless 'Merica!
Kyle Rittenhouse
Innocent of all charges
God our country sucks
Haiku # 73771, November 19, 2021 9:29 pm ET
by cursedmints
a top-rope belay:
carabiners, rope and knots
always a first time

i've been practicing
but it will be different
from sixty feet up
Haiku # 73770, November 19, 2021 5:04 pm ET
by scotch of trust fall exercises
That doesn't sound right.
Pot and porn will push themselves.
Boobs, boobs, boobs, boobs, boobs.
Haiku # 73768, November 19, 2021 2:57 pm ET
by Welcome to Starbucks. of What can I get started for you.
Tax-funded trillions
Unaccounted for. You think
to push pot and porn?
Haiku # 73767, November 19, 2021 2:48 pm ET
by Dumbed-down Populace
the malls have you know
pretty much killed themselves, you'd
just see them fall in...
Haiku # 73766, November 19, 2021 2:11 pm ET
by vhs
I can't watch TV.
Without wanting to vomit.
Then burn down the malls.
Haiku # 73765, November 19, 2021 12:47 pm ET
by Dr. R. was right.
Psst. Hey, guess what.

Haiku # 73764, November 19, 2021 12:43 pm ET
by You needed to hear that.
The Powers That Be
once wanted us all sober.
Now they want us high.
Haiku # 73763, November 19, 2021 8:06 am ET
by Typical.
Keep your thoughts subdued.
Go to the dispensary.
Here, bang this FleshLight.
Haiku # 73762, November 19, 2021 7:57 am ET
by Big, Big, Big, Big, Big... of Big Brother is Watching.
This whole "stay at home"
thing and closing all borders,
too Orwellian.
Haiku # 73761, November 19, 2021 7:44 am ET
by Freedom is slavery. And stuff.
China's missile launch
is a ploy because they have
nukes planted here now.
Haiku # 73760, November 19, 2021 7:41 am ET
by Cheaper that way. of Missiles are expensive and so much can go wrong.
If you detonate
a nuclear bomb in Prague,
would anyone care?
Haiku # 73759, November 19, 2021 7:40 am ET
by I doubt it. of They'll be too high.
Pot gravy, pot stew,
pot butter on candied yams,
and a joint after.

It's hilarious.
Little Jimmy puts olives
on all his fingers.
Haiku # 73758, November 19, 2021 7:37 am ET
by Control your laughter! of Watch me f*** the pumpkin pie, grandma!
Have you eaten rat?
Field rats, not sewer rats.
I hear it's not bad.

Maybe Thanksgiving
I'll bake up a rat pot pie.
Of course with real pot.

Pairs well with turkey.
Washed down with rum and eggnog.
I'm so effing high.
Haiku # 73757, November 19, 2021 7:32 am ET
by I'd like to give thanks that we can all be together this year. And thanks for the legalization of marijuana, without which I'd never get through Thanksgiving Day with relatives.
This place has it all
vermin in every corner
wall to wall vermin
Haiku # 73756, November 19, 2021 6:50 am ET
by Noticer of rat tails
has been restored to the rez
Wind knocked 3 trees down
Haiku # 73755, November 19, 2021 6:31 am ET
by Chattering of Teeth
Scotch: what's a "top-rope"?
Hope it's not suicidal...
Maybe climbing term...
Haiku # 73754, November 19, 2021 4:38 am ET
by Hung Up On Implications of Terminology
The moon is eclipsed
By one bad haiku tonight.
And it's MY haiku.
Haiku # 73753, November 19, 2021 4:25 am ET
by Go Outside and Look Up of I Control Celestial Bodies Through Haiku
Benjamin Franklin found out
when he fucked a kite
Haiku # 73752, November 19, 2021 12:22 am ET
by History through haiku
Please fucking kill me
I just really want to die
Jk i am good :)
Haiku # 73751, November 18, 2021 11:12 pm ET
by hit me up on twitter @cursedmints of house
Oh Madagascar!
Dear Antananarivo...
Ok. Took a risk.
Haiku # 73749, November 18, 2021 9:21 pm ET
by African Risk-assessment Team of Tananarive N'arrive Pas
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