Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 30 Days and 77414 Haiku later...

wonderful pig
beckoning sweetly in the sun
rooting anyone?
Haiku # 320, November 14, 1997 8:20 pm ET
by Matilda of USA
Letter to The President
Nuclear disaster master baiter, hater of all things with wings like birds and turds.
HEY!Turds don't fly!
They do when they hit the fan man, so don't reach for the button or I'll be cuttin' off your finger; I'd like to
Haiku # 319, November 7, 1997 2:17 pm ET
by dave of Hell, Who cares?
They print anything.
Even the crap that I write.
How stupid are they?
Haiku # 318, November 7, 1997 2:14 pm ET
by dave of hell, Joe Mama
The frog will not splish
Til the Holy Toad of Death
thinks it's time to croak.
Haiku # 317, November 5, 1997 12:32 pm ET
by Michael Sheinbaum of King of Prussia, USA
So dumb the haiku
Ha, never to be finished
If you can't start it
Haiku # 316, November 4, 1997 3:44 pm ET
by L.R. Perez "JasonX" of Miami Shores,
See other email
Haiku # 315, October 29, 1997 10:23 pm ET
by Paul Nebauer of Darwin, Horse-trail-ya
Magnum
Soul cramp forty ounce
pissing laced tears, cigarette
filthy mouths swallow
Sinning songs above
he came inside me, somehow
sickly journeys past
Blunt shiver, deep sky
passion amidst mortal girth
Haiku # 314, October 29, 1997 2:15 pm ET
by Matthew Rodbro of Oxford, USA
Your web site is slow
Two hundred bytes per second
I'm signing off now.
Haiku # 313, October 23, 1997 5:58 pm ET
by dave of Hell, usa
McDonald's breakfast
Egg McMuffin and coffee
With a hangover.
Haiku # 312, October 23, 1997 5:54 pm ET
by dave of Hell, usa
From last night's partyA pool of drying vomitYou must clean it up.Rush Limbaugh nakedJumping on a waterbedLands on top of you.A hot humid dayYou step barefoot on a slugYour toes are slimey.
Haiku # 311, October 20, 1997 10:30 pm ET
by dave of Hell, usa
of dumps & craps
you shouldn't hate shit
even if it clogs the john
even if it stinks
Haiku # 310, October 4, 1997 9:38 pm ET
by Oscar of Corvallis, USA
sdfgadsff


Haiku # 309, September 30, 1997 6:00 pm ET
by asdf
Whispering secrets,
Miraculous happiness,
Swinging upside down
Haiku # 308, September 26, 1997 3:20 pm ET
by Munchi of Lala , US
Tangerine man lives to suck the sweetness of life. But, Damn the seeds, ack
Haiku # 307, September 22, 1997 1:20 pm ET
by Tman of W. Lafayette, USA
Falling ceiling fan
Homocidal death dervish
Dear God, find my ear!
Haiku # 306, September 18, 1997 4:31 pm ET
by RT
as the finest ale
with a full foam head, and now. . .
and now i flush it
Haiku # 305, September 14, 1997 2:07 am ET
by eek
as the finest ale
with a full foam head, and now. . .
and now i flush
Haiku # 304, September 14, 1997 2:07 am ET
by eek
WHY ARE ALL MEN WHOSE
NAMES BEGIN WITH THE LETTER
"J" SO VERY MEAN?
Haiku # 303, September 11, 1997 9:19 pm ET
by Stan Johnson of Madison, us OF A
Hum little box
Walls are too white
Paste in my mouth
Haiku # 302, August 28, 1997 10:25 am ET
by Chris DiNardo of Atlanta, USA
Coffee is my friend
Latte, cappuccino good
Homer: "Jaaaaavvvaaaaa.....hmmmmmmmmmm"
Haiku # 301, August 27, 1997 1:42 pm ET
by Iced Moccaccino, no whipped of Miles-away-from-Seattle, Taster's Choice
Jan, here's my request
To preview my new Haiku
'FORE it gets submit.
See why?
Haiku # 300, August 21, 1997 8:05 pm ET
by Cousin Rick
Jan, here's my request
To preview my new Haiku
BEFORE it gets submit.
Haiku # 299, August 21, 1997 8:02 pm ET
by Cousin Rick
Want FREE magazines?
Just do what I always do.
Go visit the Doc.
Haiku # 298, August 21, 1997 7:52 pm ET
by Cousin Rick
I would like to know
Who is this Dryden fellow
And why hassle Jan?
Haiku # 297, August 21, 1997 7:27 pm ET
by Cousin Rick of Dryden, kansas
I would like to know
Who is this Dryden fellow
And why hassle Jan?
Haiku # 296, August 21, 1997 7:27 pm ET
by Cousin Rick of Dryden, kansas
Happy squirrels scamper
Stealing my birdseed again.
Rodent dinner soon.
Haiku # 295, August 19, 1997 5:15 pm ET
by Redline of Squirrel-land, Vancouver, USA
To Janis
There once was a girl named Janis
who stole her friends magazine
with Ken Dryden's signature.
And her friend still remembers
because it haunts him every day
and he can't go on without it
Haiku # 294, August 18, 1997 3:55 pm ET
by You Know of Ottawa, Mexico

For Janis
There once was a girl named Janis
Who forgot her friends, the asses
Who is complete without little shits anyway
BOX!
Gary "the great" Holmes
Haiku # 293, August 18, 1997 3:43 pm ET
by You Know of Ottawa, Mexico

Gary Rules
Is this where I leave a message?
Haiku # 292, August 18, 1997 3:27 pm ET
by Gary "the great" Holmes of Ottawa, Mexico
Janis, you bring joy.
Haiku is meant to make us
all laugh till it hurts
But do you not think
you should delete some Haiku's
especially smut?
A haiku is meant
to be but seventeen beats
and to make us thinks
Course, I could be wro
Haiku # 291, August 18, 1997 12:18 am ET
by Matt of Toronto,
If you're not going
to sack it, go home and whack
it. WRAP YOUR WHACKER!!!
Haiku # 290, August 15, 1997 7:20 am ET
by Digital "practice safe sex with haiku" Footsoldier of Neo-Tokyo!!!, somw/r in Canada
Rendering sucks so
on a 486 tis true
Need more RAM and Cokes
Haiku # 289, August 15, 1997 2:38 am ET
by Digital Footsoldier (cg animator) of Neo-Tokyo!!!, somw/r in Canada
Humpy has a problem,
His haiku Really SUCKS ASS!
He can't count to five.
Haiku # 288, August 12, 1997 10:37 pm ET
by Nikko of Edo
Humpy has a problem,
His haiku Really SUCKS ASS!
,
He can't count to five.
Haiku # 287, August 12, 1997 10:35 pm ET
by Nikko of Edo
Hoe-ass bitch better
Recognize, motherfucker, Or hoe-ass gon' die!
Haiku # 285, August 12, 1997 4:15 am ET
by Humpy of Usa
You bastard cat, get
Off the goddamn counter or
I'll freeze you solid!!
Haiku # 284, August 12, 1997 4:04 am ET
by Humpy Dallas, USA
Amish bastards love
You, so the least you could do
Is leave them alone.
Haiku # 283, August 12, 1997 4:03 am ET
by Humpy Dallas, USA
Death mail to chickens
Isn't as safe as it seems
Some have machine guns.
Haiku # 282, August 12, 1997 4:00 am ET
by Humpy Dallas, USA
last night I was bored
So I gave my cat a bath.

Still fur on my tongue.

Haiku # 281, August 5, 1997 6:40 pm ET
by cousin of USA -
Volleyball in pool,
if ball bounces in, it's fair.
Jan's team always wins.
Haiku # 280, August 5, 1997 5:28 pm ET
by cousin of Cleveburg, You ess, eh?
Little Billy Goat
Soft grey fur and sideways eyes
I shoot up your ass
Haiku # 279, August 1, 1997 9:15 pm ET
by Squishy Lover of Los Angeles, USA
At the urinal
I piss as hard as I can
Cant break cigarette
EAT MY ASS !
Eric Marcus
Haiku # 278, July 20, 1997 5:59 am ET
by Eric.marcus@tanet.com of Suckoville, CA, Yemen (semen)
I have a big dog
His name is "Go fuck yourself"
My mom hates that name.
Haiku # 277, July 20, 1997 5:54 am ET
by Eric Marcus of Penoche, U of Fucking S A
thought it was a fart
put my hand down my underwear
it was a wet mess
Haiku # 276, July 17, 1997 9:50 pm ET
by Bractune of Los Angeles, USA
bird flys in the wind
i see it over my head
it shits on my cheek
Haiku # 275, July 17, 1997 9:48 pm ET
by Bractune of Los Angeles, USA
Come here little sheep
Your fur is so soft and white
Do you have VD?
Haiku # 274, July 14, 1997 7:11 am ET
by Bractune of Los Angeles, USA
I kick the midget
I laugh at his tiny dick
I think I smell cheese
Haiku # 273, July 14, 1997 7:03 am ET
by Bractune of Los Angeles, USA
i want to lick you
And feel you get really hard
And become insane
Haiku # 272, July 11, 1997 9:42 pm ET
by to little john
i love to kiss you
i suck your passionate lips
harder and harder
Haiku # 271, July 11, 1997 6:57 pm ET
by to emma of philadelphia, usa
Cold beverage in hand
Floating in warm gentle waves
I found paradise
Haiku # 270, July 11, 1997 2:57 pm ET
by Mr.Ed of Montréal,