Tell you what I want
What I really, really want
No more Spice Girls' stuff

IT's Rap Haiku, It iS,
Words wiTh fuNk thAt, sKip and juMp,
That's rAp haiKu, iT is

8- stanza spamphlet
What is this strange word?
Etiology stings me

the cat sprayed the couch...
and the dog needs neutering...
another fine day

haiku; an art form
short, concise, a complete thought
in seventeen syl...........

Jesus spake "Let he
without sin cast the first stone.
Ow!!! Now stop that Mom !!!"

in out in out in
out in out in out in out
in out in out done

Pity the poor French
going nowhere since they cut
all the smart heads off

"Wait! I changed my mind!
I don't want to die for you."
Thusly spake Jesus.

Stucky the pig had
Happy fun life before shipped
To meat packing plant

What is all this shit?
I'm dying on a wood pole
For you? Selfish slut!

Ray, Stan, Gary, Mike
Clipper, Peehole, Clyde, Irving.
Males I have killed.

I am mister tough.
Witness my toughness. I sure
Be tough. Bow or die.

Beef is real food
Beef is for real people
Beef is your best friend

Sparks when rip off head!
Violence is fun, Taz says.
What can it be, hmm?

Roommate likes anus
Rats under fridge flip jolly
Dude give 'nother tab

KIDS TODAY
Dude dude dude dude dude
Dude dude dude dude dude dude dude
Dude dude dude hella

Trouble in badlands
I evil! Go kill! Unga
Splat landscape. Hungry?

Trouble in badlands I evil! Go kill! Unga Splat landscape. Hungry?

Bitch gave me an itch
Bought a motherfucking gun
Bitch is gonna die

I got me a whore
Threw her up against the door
Pimpin' ain't easy

Got a gun in hand
Motherfucking killing spree
Dare to come by me

This R2 has a
bad motivator unit.
I want my sun deck!

make sure that you leave
those br tags after each
line of your Haiku

the pond is rippled
by the splash of his landing:
a naked fat guy.

that dave guy is not
writing haiku. luckily
i have a pistol.

wonderful pig
beckoning sweetly in the sun
rooting anyone?

They print anything.
Even the crap that I write.
How stupid are they?

The frog will not splish
Til the Holy Toad of Death
thinks it's time to croak.

So dumb the haiku
Ha, never to be finished
If you can't start it

See other email

Your web site is slow
Two hundred bytes per second
I'm signing off now.

McDonald's breakfast
Egg McMuffin and coffee
With a hangover.

of dumps & craps
you shouldn't hate shit
even if it clogs the john
even if it stinks

Whispering secrets,
Miraculous happiness,
Swinging upside down

Falling ceiling fan
Homocidal death dervish
Dear God, find my ear!

as the finest ale
with a full foam head, and now. . .
and now i flush

WHY ARE ALL MEN WHOSE
NAMES BEGIN WITH THE LETTER
"J" SO VERY MEAN?

Hum little box
Walls are too white
Paste in my mouth

Coffee is my friend
Latte, cappuccino good
Homer: "Jaaaaavvvaaaaa.....hmmmmmmmmmm"

Jan, here's my request
To preview my new Haiku
'FORE it gets submit.
See why?

I would like to know
Who is this Dryden fellow
And why hassle Jan?

Happy squirrels scamper
Stealing my birdseed again.
Rodent dinner soon.

For Janis
There once was a girl named Janis
Who forgot her friends, the asses
Who is complete without little shits anyway
BOX!
Gary "the great" Holmes

Gary Rules
Is this where I leave a message?

Janis, you bring joy.
Haiku is meant to make us
all laugh till it hurts
But do you not think
you should delete some Haiku's
especially smut?
A haiku is meant
to be but seventeen beats
and to make us thinks
Course, I could be wro

If you're not going
to sack it, go home and whack
it. WRAP YOUR WHACKER!!!

Rendering sucks so
on a 486 tis true
Need more RAM and Cokes

Humpy has a problem,
His haiku Really SUCKS ASS!
,
He can't count to five.

Hoe-ass bitch better
Recognize, motherfucker, Or hoe-ass gon' die!