Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 1 Days and 77366 Haiku later...

"Wait! I changed my mind!
I don't want to die for you."
Thusly spake Jesus.
Haiku # 338, December 24, 1997 12:40 pm ET
by don of olympia, usa
Stucky the pig had
Happy fun life before shipped
To meat packing plant
Haiku # 337, December 21, 1997 3:18 am ET
by Serjei Rachnid of I, CORN
What is all this shit?
I'm dying on a wood pole
For you? Selfish slut!
Haiku # 336, December 21, 1997 3:16 am ET
by Serjei Rachnid of I, CORN
Ray, Stan, Gary, Mike
Clipper, Peehole, Clyde, Irving.
Males I have killed.
Haiku # 335, December 21, 1997 3:16 am ET
by Serjei Rachnid of I, CORN
I am mister tough.
Witness my toughness. I sure
Be tough. Bow or die.
Haiku # 334, December 21, 1997 3:15 am ET
by Serjei Rachnid of I, CORN
Beef is real food
Beef is for real people
Beef is your best friend
Haiku # 333, December 21, 1997 3:12 am ET
by Serjei Rachnid of Duh, Boing
Sparks when rip off head!
Violence is fun, Taz says.
What can it be, hmm?
Haiku # 332, December 21, 1997 3:12 am ET
by Serjei Rachnid of Duh, Boing
Roommate likes anus
Rats under fridge flip jolly
Dude give 'nother tab
Haiku # 331, December 21, 1997 3:10 am ET
by Serjei of Duh, Boing
KIDS TODAY
Dude dude dude dude dude
Dude dude dude dude dude dude dude
Dude dude dude hella
Haiku # 330, December 21, 1997 3:08 am ET
by Serjei Rachnid of Duh, Boing
Trouble in badlands
I evil! Go kill! Unga
Splat landscape. Hungry?
Haiku # 329, December 21, 1997 3:07 am ET
by Serjei of Duh, Boing
Trouble in badlands I evil! Go kill! Unga Splat landscape. Hungry?
Haiku # 328, December 21, 1997 3:07 am ET
by Serjei of Duh, Boing
Bitch gave me an itch
Bought a motherfucking gun
Bitch is gonna die
Haiku # 327, December 15, 1997 5:10 pm ET
by Nathan Rapp
I got me a whore
Threw her up against the door
Pimpin' ain't easy
Haiku # 326, December 15, 1997 5:07 pm ET
by Nathan Rapp
Got a gun in hand
Motherfucking killing spree
Dare to come by me
Haiku # 325, December 13, 1997 2:19 pm ET
by Nathan Rapp of Norman,
This R2 has a
bad motivator unit.
I want my sun deck!
Haiku # 324, December 5, 1997 10:35 pm ET
by G
make sure that you leave
those br tags after each
line of your Haiku
Haiku # 323, December 4, 1997 2:38 am ET
by pretty polly
the pond is rippled
by the splash of his landing:
a naked fat guy.
Haiku # 322, December 4, 1997 2:34 am ET
by pretty polly
that dave guy is not
writing haiku. luckily
i have a pistol.
Haiku # 321, December 4, 1997 2:30 am ET
by pretty polly
wonderful pig
beckoning sweetly in the sun
rooting anyone?
Haiku # 320, November 14, 1997 8:20 pm ET
by Matilda of USA
Letter to The President
Nuclear disaster master baiter, hater of all things with wings like birds and turds.
HEY!Turds don't fly!
They do when they hit the fan man, so don't reach for the button or I'll be cuttin' off your finger; I'd like to
Haiku # 319, November 7, 1997 2:17 pm ET
by dave of Hell, Who cares?
They print anything.
Even the crap that I write.
How stupid are they?
Haiku # 318, November 7, 1997 2:14 pm ET
by dave of hell, Joe Mama
The frog will not splish
Til the Holy Toad of Death
thinks it's time to croak.
Haiku # 317, November 5, 1997 12:32 pm ET
by Michael Sheinbaum of King of Prussia, USA
So dumb the haiku
Ha, never to be finished
If you can't start it
Haiku # 316, November 4, 1997 3:44 pm ET
by L.R. Perez "JasonX" of Miami Shores,
See other email
Haiku # 315, October 29, 1997 10:23 pm ET
by Paul Nebauer of Darwin, Horse-trail-ya
Magnum
Soul cramp forty ounce
pissing laced tears, cigarette
filthy mouths swallow
Sinning songs above
he came inside me, somehow
sickly journeys past
Blunt shiver, deep sky
passion amidst mortal girth
Haiku # 314, October 29, 1997 2:15 pm ET
by Matthew Rodbro of Oxford, USA
Your web site is slow
Two hundred bytes per second
I'm signing off now.
Haiku # 313, October 23, 1997 5:58 pm ET
by dave of Hell, usa
McDonald's breakfast
Egg McMuffin and coffee
With a hangover.
Haiku # 312, October 23, 1997 5:54 pm ET
by dave of Hell, usa
From last night's partyA pool of drying vomitYou must clean it up.Rush Limbaugh nakedJumping on a waterbedLands on top of you.A hot humid dayYou step barefoot on a slugYour toes are slimey.
Haiku # 311, October 20, 1997 10:30 pm ET
by dave of Hell, usa
of dumps & craps
you shouldn't hate shit
even if it clogs the john
even if it stinks
Haiku # 310, October 4, 1997 9:38 pm ET
by Oscar of Corvallis, USA
sdfgadsff


Haiku # 309, September 30, 1997 6:00 pm ET
by asdf
Whispering secrets,
Miraculous happiness,
Swinging upside down
Haiku # 308, September 26, 1997 3:20 pm ET
by Munchi of Lala , US
Tangerine man lives to suck the sweetness of life. But, Damn the seeds, ack
Haiku # 307, September 22, 1997 1:20 pm ET
by Tman of W. Lafayette, USA
Falling ceiling fan
Homocidal death dervish
Dear God, find my ear!
Haiku # 306, September 18, 1997 4:31 pm ET
by RT
as the finest ale
with a full foam head, and now. . .
and now i flush it
Haiku # 305, September 14, 1997 2:07 am ET
by eek
as the finest ale
with a full foam head, and now. . .
and now i flush
Haiku # 304, September 14, 1997 2:07 am ET
by eek
WHY ARE ALL MEN WHOSE
NAMES BEGIN WITH THE LETTER
"J" SO VERY MEAN?
Haiku # 303, September 11, 1997 9:19 pm ET
by Stan Johnson of Madison, us OF A
Hum little box
Walls are too white
Paste in my mouth
Haiku # 302, August 28, 1997 10:25 am ET
by Chris DiNardo of Atlanta, USA
Coffee is my friend
Latte, cappuccino good
Homer: "Jaaaaavvvaaaaa.....hmmmmmmmmmm"
Haiku # 301, August 27, 1997 1:42 pm ET
by Iced Moccaccino, no whipped of Miles-away-from-Seattle, Taster's Choice
Jan, here's my request
To preview my new Haiku
'FORE it gets submit.
See why?
Haiku # 300, August 21, 1997 8:05 pm ET
by Cousin Rick
Jan, here's my request
To preview my new Haiku
BEFORE it gets submit.
Haiku # 299, August 21, 1997 8:02 pm ET
by Cousin Rick
Want FREE magazines?
Just do what I always do.
Go visit the Doc.
Haiku # 298, August 21, 1997 7:52 pm ET
by Cousin Rick
I would like to know
Who is this Dryden fellow
And why hassle Jan?
Haiku # 297, August 21, 1997 7:27 pm ET
by Cousin Rick of Dryden, kansas
I would like to know
Who is this Dryden fellow
And why hassle Jan?
Haiku # 296, August 21, 1997 7:27 pm ET
by Cousin Rick of Dryden, kansas
Happy squirrels scamper
Stealing my birdseed again.
Rodent dinner soon.
Haiku # 295, August 19, 1997 5:15 pm ET
by Redline of Squirrel-land, Vancouver, USA
To Janis
There once was a girl named Janis
who stole her friends magazine
with Ken Dryden's signature.
And her friend still remembers
because it haunts him every day
and he can't go on without it
Haiku # 294, August 18, 1997 3:55 pm ET
by You Know of Ottawa, Mexico

For Janis
There once was a girl named Janis
Who forgot her friends, the asses
Who is complete without little shits anyway
BOX!
Gary "the great" Holmes
Haiku # 293, August 18, 1997 3:43 pm ET
by You Know of Ottawa, Mexico

Gary Rules
Is this where I leave a message?
Haiku # 292, August 18, 1997 3:27 pm ET
by Gary "the great" Holmes of Ottawa, Mexico
Janis, you bring joy.
Haiku is meant to make us
all laugh till it hurts
But do you not think
you should delete some Haiku's
especially smut?
A haiku is meant
to be but seventeen beats
and to make us thinks
Course, I could be wro
Haiku # 291, August 18, 1997 12:18 am ET
by Matt of Toronto,
If you're not going
to sack it, go home and whack
it. WRAP YOUR WHACKER!!!
Haiku # 290, August 15, 1997 7:20 am ET
by Digital "practice safe sex with haiku" Footsoldier of Neo-Tokyo!!!, somw/r in Canada
Rendering sucks so
on a 486 tis true
Need more RAM and Cokes
Haiku # 289, August 15, 1997 2:38 am ET
by Digital Footsoldier (cg animator) of Neo-Tokyo!!!, somw/r in Canada